Our Other Mrs Reynolds
by nicowa
Summary: Faith is on Triumph for a job when she spots someone. A girl, dancing with all the grace and skill of a Slayer. Lies are told and plans are changed. Challange response from TTH
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Firefly or BtVS. I am making no money.

AN: Set after the events of 'Chosen' in the Buffyverse, just before and during the episode of 'Our Mrs Reynolds' for Firefly. Also used some quotes from other movies. Find them, get a cookie!

ooo

Faith had never expected things to work out like this. Having grown up on in the ghettos of Boston had taught her to not expect any more than her mother had achieved. Which, if you discounted Faith, was a string of boyfriends, who alternately beat her and fucked her, a job as a hooker and a drug habit she couldn't kick no matter how many times she tried.

So the day she'd been told about everything Slayer-related was one she had marked in her diary ever since, and marked the day she'd become the Slayer with as much importance, maybe more, as a birthday. When the tall British woman had approached her on the street and told her of her possible destiny she'd laughed. It was the look on the English woman's face that stopped her. This woman was deadly serious.

"You're crazy!" Faith had told her. She'd gotten the whole speech then. One girl in all the world. Power to do remarkable good. Faith had been entranced with the idea. Her, the saviour of the world. Impossible. Kirsten had told her it was very possible. If she were called, she would be the one girl in the world who could keep the darkness at bay. She'd been fourteen. And she'd prayed every night, to a God she never really believed in, that one day she would be the Slayer.

It felt like a million years ago. It wasn't quite that long. 500 years or so.

500 years since that world had imploded and the human race had left the planet they had exploited to the destruction of about two thirds of the population. Well, Faith didn't know the exact figures but she didn't for a moment believe that crap about the entire human race moving off world. There would never have been room or enough food to support that many people. And that was just from the practical side of it.

On the other side of it was the fact that most of the populations of the worlds she'd visited had been American or Chinese in the majority. Sure, you had the token Cockney or Russian. Nevertheless, you had to be severely deaf, dumb and blind not to see who had been the main ticket holders in those Earth flights.

Some things hadn't changed though. There would always be a Watchers Council. It may have evolved over the centuries but it was still the base of those who'd fought the ultimate darkness. Though that mission had changed shape too. Now instead of fighting they healed those who did.

But there were no more slayers. No more demons to fight. The latter had been left behind on the wasted planet Faith would forever call home. As for the former…They had vanished, like rain on the mountains, like wind in the meadows. The last recorded Slayer, Reca, had died about two hundred years ago. They even had a mural of her, in memory of all Slayers through the years who had given their lives in the struggle.

They hadn't known who she was when they found her. A lost relic of Earth-that-was. A fighter of the same era as Buffy Summers. That much she had told them.

Faith snorted at that. 500 years in the future and she had still been the oldest, and most famous, Slayer who had ever lived. They still had some records. Sketchy at best but they still existed. Telling of how Buffy closed the Hellmouth, rebuilt the Watchers Council from scratch and transformed it to work as a cohesive fighting machine, and more importantly had lived to be the oldest Slayer in living history. Faith wondered what she would think of the Monks of Time now if she saw them.

And then there was her. What exactly had she achieved in her 6 years as Slayer, a stint in prison and a murder rap.

Faith had survived the battle with the First, only to be struck down by the Big C (cancer), was magically frozen for almost 500 years and was still not even a footnote in their history books. Or cortex as they called it.

The shuttle rattled but Faith didn't notice, so locked in memories was she.

The cancer had been well advanced by the time the doctors had found it. And not her Slayer healing nor Willows magics had been able to help her. Faith had seen the heartbreak in Buffy's eyes when they had realised that the younger slayer had only a few months to live. To watch her mother struggle with the disease only to lose her sister Slayer to it was too much.

Faith loved Buffy like a sister, even with all their problems, and there was no way she could watch Buffy watch her die. She had to leave. She'd travel. See what she could of Gods green Earth before she was buried beneath it.

Buffy had begged her to stay. They had missed out on so much time together already, she pleaded. Faith shook her head sadly. She was ready to leave within the week, flitting off for Thailand and the Indies. Giles had been kind enough to 'lend' her some Council funds for her trip. Dawn hugged her for so long before she left, it still brought a tear to Faiths eyes when she remembered. Even Xander had patted her shoulder gently in goodbye.

Willow pressed a crystal into her hand before she left.

"Wear it round your neck. For strength," she said meeting Faiths eyes. "And so we know when and where. We'll bring you home." Faith could only hug her in thanks.

Faith had been hoping for a dignified death. No slow torturous decline for her. Unbeknownst to the Scooby Gang she'd taken Mr. Pointy from Buffy's chest and gone hunting every night, with her failing strength she'd been sure it wouldn't take long for her to die, or rather, be killed.

She'd only just hit Lagos when she'd heard tell of a major demon hangout near the beach. A local dive that managed to survive because of the locals' ignorance. Her plan was simple. Sweep and destroy. Take as many of the bastards with her as she could. She had never dreamt she'd make it out of there alive.

She'd been half-right.

She'd interrupted them right in the middle of some strange ceremonial ritual. She didn't stop to find out what it was about or anything. She could kick herself now for not scoping it out or anything before, it might have saved her, but then again that hadn't really been the point.

She fought viciously, slaughtering the ranks of the demon horde even as the chanting continued.

A petty demon no bigger than herself had managed to get a swift stab in before she snapped his neck. It was a chest wound. She killed a few more demons that were in close range before falling to her knees.

However, the ritual was ongoing. It would continue unless she managed to find a way to interrupt the chanting of the demons in the middle of the room. But she was all out of energy and almost out of caring.

The rest of the demons could sense her end was nigh and were ready waiting to devour her as soon as she fell. Though the haze that clouded her mind, she could feel the crystal around her neck heat up and knew she was about to go.

She glanced down groggily to find something, anything to fling at one of the demons, only to find that she still had Mr. Pointy in her hand. She shuffled it round in her hand then threw it. It hit the leader of the group dead centre in, what was presumably, his forehead.

The chanting stopped. The demons looked round fearful and backed away from the centre of the circle. Faith wondered for a moment what exactly she had done, what could make demons back away in fear like this, before a blast of energy threw all the demons against the wall. Faith watched in horror as a bolt of lightening rose from the circle etched into the hardwood floor spiked high in the air before arching round and hitting her in the chest.

She didn't even feel any pain.

All went dark.

Waking was the strangest part. She didn't wake slowly, drifting into consciousness with bits and pieces of memories coming back to her. Rather she woke with a jump. Flailing upright as if fighting to free herself from a terrible dream. Her heart was thudding loudly beneath the white shirt she was wearing as she took in her surroundings.

The room was white, the walls, the floor, the bed she was in, the clothes she was wearing, even the door in the corner.

_Door!_

The thought launched her off the bed and to the floor with such force she almost bounced back up, then she was beside the door wrenching on the handle with all the strength she could gather. It didn't budge, it didn't so much as creak. She slammed her palm against the door in anger but it was futile.

She backed into the corner and surveyed the room. There wasn't much to survey. The bed she'd been on was a simple trolley in the middle of the floor. And that was it. No windows, no vents, only the extra-strong immovable door.

Time dragged in that white room where the only sound to keep her company was the sound of her breathing and the thudding of her heart in her ribcage, a constant reminder that this wasn't heaven, or even hell for that matter.

A knock on the door jerked her out of her reverie. She slid along the wall to the far corner. For some reason fear had come knocking with the knock on the door and Faith wasn't sure she wanted to know what was on the other side of the door.

It opened.

It was weird.

They apologised for holding her. Gave her clothes and food. A proper room, with a view and all. The view wasn't much, just the gardens that served the kitchen but it was better than any she'd had before. They didn't ask her about her past. They didn't ask any questions at all, a favour Faith was more than happy to repay (she didn't really feel like asking how her body had been carting millions of light years from home in a metal box or where she had been 'stored' in that in between time).

They seemed to know enough about her though.

They didn't know her name, her date of birth or any of the more interesting details of her previous life and Faith was more than happy to plead amnesia but they knew enough to know she wasn't from this time.

They offered treatments to help her regain her memory but she refused. She thought for a moment there that they might force her, maybe that they might use her to gain info on Earth-that-was. Once she found out home had blown up about 500 years ago she knew just how valuable that info would be, but she didn't feel like spending any more time in shiny white rooms than she had to.

But they were kind. Even reserved. The kind of reserved people use around the recently bereaved. And Faith supposed that was one way to describe how she'd felt those first few months with them. Off-balance. The world had gone and gotten itself blown up and she hadn't even been around to see the fireworks.

She'd been pulled from everything she'd ever known and tossed into a new world, hell, a whole new universe. Back from the dead, or near dead.

They gave her a few months with them to readjust, then quietly but firmly suggested that she leave them and try for a new life outside. They had told her the basics, monetary systems, the planets and advised various jobs she should try. As she left they gave her some credits to start off with.

"It isn't much," one of the elders said, regretfully. But Faith had thanked him and turned to go. No one had tried to hug her or anything, though she'd gotten close to one or two of them. They weren't big on the touchy-feely crap, she knew.

The shuttle lurched again.

"I thought you said you could work this thing." She growled at the pilot.

"They're not meant to travel this far." Her travelling companion said sweetly. Faith glared at her, not fooled for a moment by her outward exterior and made a mental note to quit her company as soon as she was able. She preferred her workmates to be upfront about their duplicity.

And she had found work, easily enough she remembered. There was always work for those strong enough for it, and the years had not lessened her strength. But she often found herself in fights. Usually fighting off the advances of a fellow worker who took her easy banter as something more. The boss-men never seemed to take her excuses of self-defence to heart, some even going to suggest she had 'asked for it'.

Faith gritted her teeth in frustration. 500 years of change and some things never did.

As she moved further from the core she marvelled at the difference. The core was like a utopia, with high tech medical and technological advances, while the rims were like something out of a John Wayne movie.

Gunslingers and cowboys.

The child inside crowed with delight while the adult grimaced at the difference. They could preach all they wanted about their Unified front but while there still remained such a difference in standards between the planets people would still be discontented.

Things were harder and easier for her out on the rims. People were more likely to hire her but they would only take you on if you had experience with weaponry. Dangerous times and such like. The only weaponry Faith had experience with would occasionally give you splinters and she'd never liked guns.

She'd been lucky on the last planet to bump into her present company who was more than willing to invite Faith along for the job as a distraction, although Faith had been a little concerned with how she'd eyed Faiths curves. But she hadn't glanced her way since, so Faith could only assume she was looking for Faith to be a certain kind of 'distraction' in what Faith was sure would be a less than legal activity. But as long as it paid well, Faith couldn't care less. And she'd been told this i would /i pay well.

The shuttle rocked again and Faith was nearly jolted out of her seat, safety harness or no.

"Hold on to something." She was told. But there was nothing for her to grab onto but the seat itself and as Faith suffered through one of b the /b bumpiest atmo entries she been through, she wondered aloud if they would even survive the landing.

"Oh I think so." The pilot said airily. "I'm not sure about this shuttle though." She laughed at Faiths incredulous look. "Oh, don't worry. It's not mine."

Faith cursed all the gods she could think of as the shuttle slid and hopped along the ground, before it finally stopped, banking sharply and digging a large trench in the ground.

Faith let out a little sigh but her companion only hummed something as she got out of the seat.

"Come on. We've got work to do."

"So, what's the job." Faith asked. Night had fallen as they'd walked and now the rustic village they were in was lit by a huge bonfire. Loud music of the country type was being played and Faith watched people dancing and singing in a cleared space. They sat on the edge, out of the light and for a second Faith felt a small pang of loneliness. How long had it been since she'd danced? About 500 years, she thought with a grin. She glanced down at her outfit, a peasant sundress she 'acquired' recently, she'd never have worn this dress dancing then either, not low cut enough. She swallowed her loneliness and concentrated on what Saffron was telling her.

"The basic plan is to rip off the captain of that ship we passed. The more complex plan is to steal away on his ship in a way that he'll keep us on board and trust us. We act like simple village girls," she eyed Faith. "You can do that? Good." She said on Faiths nod.

"The cortex on that shuttle said that the basic marriage ceremony for-"

"Marriage!" Faith exclaimed.

Saffron nodded.

"We say we were part payment for the job they did earlier, easiest thing. And all we have to do is put a wreath on his head and give him a drink. Then dance and be merry." She nodded at a tall, well defined man talking to the chief elder. "He's the captain. He'll be more difficult to trick, I'll take him." She pointed to a bearded, muscular man sitting playing with a wooden tube. "You take him, he looks thick enough."

Faith didn't even bother acting indignant, she was busy watching her mark. She winced as he chugged back even more alcohol.

"I don't have to sleep with him, do I?" Just the thought of it made her shudder. Saffron gave her a piercing look.

"You do whatever you have to, to take him in. Get the job done, otherwise," she left it hanging. Faith just rolled her eyes and nodded. She watched the dancers again while Saffron eyed the tall guy. The crowd parted and Faith peered round them to see what they were watching.

Then she saw her.

She danced with a grace Faith had rarely seen before. Not even in that ballet show Giles had dragged them all to that one time. She twirled and kicked and spun in the air. The only other person Faith had seen move like that was… well… herself, when she'd trained in front of the mirrors and Faith knew looking at her that she was a descendant of the Slayer line Faith had assumed long dissolved.

She looked out of place here in this setting and Faith could only glance around in surprise to see who here she could belong with. Most of the celebrants were villagers, as witnessed by their dress but she could see several of the people near the captain Saffron mentioned watching the dancer, smiling and clapping as she executed some of the more daring moves, and knew she must belong with them.

_Dammit! Why did things always have to get complicated?_

She had to get on their ship. But not with Saffron. Saffron had her own job in mind and Faith knew there was no way she would be able to get near this young girl if the crew thought she had anything to do with whatever it was Saffron was planning to do.

Saffron had to go.

"You ready?" The con artist asked, glancing over. Faith nodded, setting her shoulders.

"As I'll ever be." She muttered. Before Saffron could react, Faith swung a swift punch to the head that knocked the blonde unconscious. Faith caught her before she could fall and dragged her over behind a nearby house.

"Sorry girl, but I won't be your distraction!" She made sure the con artist was still breathing then took the few bits from her that she had planned to sneak on board the ship, you never know what will come in handy.

She stepped out of the shadows then and straightened her dress with nervous fingers. Time to put Saffron's plan into action and see if she was as good an actress as she had hoped.


	2. Chapter 2

The first bit had been as easy as pie. The captain had been drunk enough to enjoy the simple peasant girl attending him, who put a wreath on his head and gave him some wine from a small bowl she'd found. They'd danced then. But Faith had been too nervous to put any real energy into it. Which was just as well since she was playing a simple peasant girl and the moves she knew would _not_ fit into that persona. But she'd smiled and laughed and encouraged him to do the same and he'd been happy with that. He just seemed happy to have a reason to relax.

She'd escaped then as he fell asleep by the fire, one of his more sober crew members pulling a blanket over his slumbering form. Her first thought was to check on Saffron but the blonde was still unconscious. She sat then, leaning back against the timber-constructed house as she thought about what she had just done. It was the first time she'd allowed herself to consider what she was even doing out here on the rim, or to consider what she had been doing with Saffron in the beginning.

She'd been weak. She'd gone the easier route just like always. The pretty blonde had offered good money for an easy job and Faith had never thought to ask what the job was before she'd agreed. And when she'd found out the gist of the plan she still hadn't objected. Not out loud anyway, not in any way that counted. She'd just nodded and followed like a meek little lamb. If she was truthful she'd just been happy to have someone to follow. She'd been tired of making all the hard decisions and screwing up.

That's what had gotten her where she was. She went into that demon dive looking for a fight, THE fight, the one that would end her. And as usual she had thrown herself headlong into the situation before even thinking it through. And look where that had gotten her. Thrown five hundred years into the future with no clue what was going on anymore. But she'd just found it was easier to not think. To just follow orders. She'd done it before. She'd do it again. Allow the stronger character lead her around like a puppy, like the Mayor had, like she'd wanted Buffy to do but she hadn't.

But she had to be strong now. For herself. For the other Slayer. She was needed now. She was the older one now, the more experienced one.

She stayed awake, listening to the soft sounds of the night pass away as the sun rose and warmed the air. The camp began to stir but the woman beside her stayed still and Faith began to wonder just what kind of damage she'd done. Saffron was still breathing, which was a good sign, but she hadn't stirred, which Faith knew to be a sign of concussion.

Too late to think of that now. She'd be found before long and someone else would take care of her. Faith had other things to worry about.

She found it easy enough to sneak on board, there had been so many going in and out with gifts for the "big strong men who saved our village" and these people were just a tad too trusting, though it had been a close one with the dark haired dancer. She had stood so close Faith was sure she'd hear her heartbeat, which had been going a mile a minute, but apart from a weird comment to a nearby passenger about flights of angels, she hadn't done anything else.

Faith listened as the captain chatted to Elder Gomman and the crew as they chatted while they loading up their cargo. She learned that her 'husbands' name was Mal Reynolds and his first mate was a stoic dark-skinned woman, named Zoe.

Mal, she reflected. If she remembered her Latin correctly it meant 'bad'. But then names were often counterintuitive considering hers was Faith and she'd never had much.

The ship took off then and Faith was left hiding in the cargo bay, waiting to be discovered. She was a few hours into the flight when she heard foot steps above and took a few calming breaths. She heard the footsteps come closer, male, tall, she could tell from the slight scent he gave off and the heavy tread of his footsteps, until-

"Ahh!" She almost jumped out of her skin. It was the captain of the ship, looking as freaked as she felt. She just hoped it didn't show. "Who the hell are you?"

_Play dumb_, she decided.

"What do you mean?"

"I think I was pretty clear. What are you doing on my boat?" He looked confused.

_Play extremely dumb!_

"But you know… you don't remember?" She ducked her head and shuffled her feet, the picture of embarrassment. Now Mal froze. Hehe, Faith thought. It was entirely possible he wouldn't remember much considering how drunk he'd been last night.

"Uh… Lets go with no."

"Did Elder Gommen not tell you?" Mal looked, if possible, more freaked. She stepped out to face him properly. "Captain Reynolds, I am your wife." At that moment Faith wished she had whatever the future equivalent of a camera was , the look on his face was just priceless.

"Could you repeat that please?" He asked stupidly. She had to think fast.

"It was part of your agreement with Elder Gommen since he had not enough livestock or goods-"

"I'm sorry, go back to the part where you're my wife!" Mal interrupted.

Faith allowed all the anger and frustration she'd felt since awaking to this God-awful nightmare to come to the front.

"As part of the contract you agreed with Elder Gommen, you took me as your wife." She let a tear run down her face. "You accepted my offering, you drank my wine. You took me as yours!"

It was probably that last sentence that through him off.

Mal stood there shocked as her emotions ran riot. Faith was kind of surprised herself. But she'd been on tenterhooks since she'd arrived that often the simplest thing would set her off, as many of her co-workers had found, though she'd usually gotten angry rather than upset. A noise made her look behind her. Mal turned to his first mate as she entered.

"Zoe, why do I have a wife?"

"You got a wife?" Jayne asked.

"What's she doing here?" Zoe sounded perplexed.

"All I got was that dumb-ass stick that sounds like it's raining. How come you got a wife?" Jayne complained.

"I didn't." He turned to Faith. "We're not married."

But Faith would not be put off by a simple matter of the groomsman forgetting the wedding to ruin her plans.

"Well you're mistaken!"

"Mistak-" He swallowed. "Zoe, get Wash down here!"

Zoe grinned as she pressed the intercom button.

"This is Zoe. We need all personnel in the cargo bay." Zoe turned with a mischievous smirk on her face.

"All- I said Wash!" Mal said, outraged.

"Captain, everyone should have a chance to congratulate you on your day of bliss." Zoe countered.

"There's no bliss! I don't know this girl!" Mal exclaimed.

"Then can I know her?" Jayne asked, reaching out to touch the peasant dress Faith still wore. She slapped his hand away.

"Ouch!" He yelped, she'd put quite a bit of a sting into it. She noticed Mal glare at Jayne and hoped that was a good sign.

"Jayne…" Zoe said, reproachfully. "Don't sully this." She added in a lighter tone.

_Wait, this guys name is Jayne!_ Faith thought. She fought to keep her face straight, luckily for her they just took it that she was trying to stop crying.

"Zoe, you are gonna be cleaning the latrine with your face, you don't cut that out." Mal warned but Zoe just grinned even harder. They looked round as the rest of the crew joined them.

"Who's the new recruit?" Book asked, voicing the question that was on all their lips.

"Everybody, I want you to meet Mrs. Reynolds." Zoe's statement was followed by a gasp of surprise from the other crew members and a groan of dismay on the part of Mal.

Faiths, for her part, found her gaze drawn to a striking woman standing on the edge of the group. Her face had gone white at Zoe's statement, for a fleeting second Faith could see the anguish in her eyes before it was gone and she was glaring daggers at Mal.

Faith felt guilty for a moment, until she remembered the dancer girl she'd seen last night and her resolve strengthened, she had to be strong. She wasn't the only one who thought the Slayer line had died out long ago and she'd be damned if she was going to let the girl go through the 'verse on her own.

"You got married?" The excited question came from a pretty brunette in overalls. She had smudges of grease on her face which, against all reason, made her look cuter. Faith assumed she was a mechanic or something.

"Well that's… Congratulations?" One of the more proper dressed of the crew offered, sincerely, but puzzled.

"We always hoped you kids would get together!" The man standing beside Zoe professed happily, before adding in a more confused tone, "who is she?"

"She's no one!" Mal protested.

Faith allowed her face to fall as she looked silently at the floor.

"Captain!" The mechanic protested.

"Stop that!" Mal looked uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry." Faith offered pitifully. She was beginning to get a feel for this character. It didn't hurt that the Captain was essentially a good man, despite his protestations to the contrary.

"You brute." Wash told Mal.

Kaylee went to comfort Faith.

"Oh, sweetie, don't feel bad. He makes everybody cry. He's like a monster." She said patting Faith on the back.

"I'm not a monster!" He turned to the man with Zoe, who Faith was beginning to think was her husband. "Wash, turn the ship around!"

Meanwhile Faith could see some kind of interaction between the proper-looking guy and the old guy who'd originally asked about her. She wondered briefly if they would make trouble. And what she could do if they did. Not a hell of a lot, she reasoned, the basic premise of the plan was for them to trust her, and she wouldn't be able to manage that if she attempted to disable the crew members.

"Can't." Wash was telling Mal.

"That's an order." Mal said in no uncertain terms.

"Yeah, but can't."

"What the hell is wrong w-"

"Alliance touched down the second we left." Wash told him. "And there's already a bulletin on the cortex as to the murder of a prefect's nephew. That's right," He said off Mal's look. "One of our bandits had some family ties. So unless you feel like walking into a gallows, I suggest we continue on to Beaumonde and you enjoy your honeymoon."

"This isn't happening." Then to Faith. "Stop crying!"

"Oh, for God's sake, Mal, can you be a human being for thirty seconds?" Inara said angrily. Faith felt even more guilty now. This woman was clearly in love with the captain but was willing to put those feelings aside for a woman she didn't even know.

_Yeesh! _thought Faith, _talk about self-sacrificing!_

"Speaking as one married man to a another…" Wash started.

"I am not married!" Mal interjected. "I'm sorry." he said to Faith. "I'm sure you're a very nice girl and you have very nice qualities, but I didn't ever marry you."

"I believe you did. Last night." Faith breathed a sigh of relief, those two in the corner were some help, looks like she wouldn't have to hurt them. That was lucky. Mr-Straight-And-Proper was throwing her mechanic the kind of looks that would turn her head, if she wasn't already married. Unfortunately for her mechanic she was too busy glaring at her Captain to notice.

Faith watched as everybody seemed to pause at this announcement. Mal leaned in to Jayne.

"How drunk was I last night?" Faith heard him ask quietly. Jayne shrugged.

"I don't know. I passed out."

"It says here," The white haired man went on. "The woman lays the wreath upon her intended - which I do recall - which represents his sovereignty. And then he drinks of her wine." He closed the book. "The marriage ceremony of the Triumph settlers, been so over eighty years. You, sir, are a newlywed."

The silence rang for a beat.

"So what does it say in there about a divorce." Mal asked.

Now was as good a time as any to bail. She let out a mock sob and took off for the upper levels of the boat.

She heard some arguing behind her in Chinese before she was out of range. She kept running forwards and up till she was stopped by the small problem of being out of room to run. She'd ended up in what passed for the cockpit. The run was short but even still she was panting.

_Too much adrenaline,_ she thought. She almost collapsed down onto the steps by the control panel and folded in on her self. She was surprised, then, to find actual tears running down her cheeks.

_Too much adrenaline and too much excitement_, she told herself.

It hadn't anything to do with the fact that he didn't want her. That nobody had wanted her. _Buffy had turned her away just like that_, she thought ignoring the fact that perhaps Buffy had had a good reason back then. Her own mother hadn't even wanted her.

But she didn't care about his reaction.

She didn't care that he had looked with her with something akin to fear. And not fear in the way she normally understood. It wasn't the _please-God-don't-kill-me_ kind of fear but the _dear-God-please-no_ kind of fear that can be seen in the eyes of men the morning after the night before when they realise who or what they woke up next to.

She didn't want to think about the fact that when he had held her last night as they danced it had made the hairs on her neck stand up and stirred up the warmth between her legs that hadn't been aroused in a long time, making her heart beat faster and her breath come faster.

Which, frankly, was kind of surprising. He wasn't her type after all. He was tall, which was a good point for him, the only good point really. But his hair was that dirty-blonde colour people call fair and his face wasn't exactly pleasing to the eye, and really she liked her men more down and dirty than he so obviously was, so why was she reacting this way to him?

_Oh, God! The whole situation is fucked up,_ she thought.

That was the most obvious reason for her strange reaction. That and her obvious lack of control in this whole situation.

_Could the Powers have made it more obvious?_

They way it looked to her, the Powers had made her fall ill, go to Lagos, almost die and end up right where she was just so she could find the dancer girl.

And that was where he found her. Curled up on the steps of the cockpit staring out at the stars as if they could provide all the answers she was looking for.

"You alright?" he asked, sitting on the step beside her.

She looked up at him through a haze of unshed tears. She shook her head. She searched her mind for a reasonable excuse.

"You were so happy last night." She said through her tears. _It was lame but it would do._ "I thought…"

"Well, yeah, last night I was," he said, uncomfortably. "I had some mulled wine, pretty girl gave me a hat made out of a tree, nobody said I was signing up to have and to hold…"

Faith sighed. It wasn't going to work, she knew that. What sane man would willingly marry her, let along stay married to her. He'd have her shipped off at the next planet they reached, divorce or no divorce.

Faith smiled a little at his nervousness though. He was scared of making her cry again and that endeared him to her a little. Mal smiled back.

"What are you going to do with me? I just… If you can't get a divorce? I mean. I know you don't really want to be married to me." She looked back at the stars and sighed. "Who would?"

"Now that's a dumb question! Any sane minded man would give his right arm to have a woman like you. I just… I didn't plan on being married right now. Or, you know, ever." He shrugged. "Kinda gave up on that after the war. Just felt it weren't right a man like me bring up little ones and isn't that the whole point of marriage?"

"Is it?" She stared him hard in the eye. "I thought it was for companion-ship. To have one person who really loves you, for better and worse. For richer and poorer. Someone who will care for you and you for them. To share your heart, mind, body and soul and to live only for that person and none else."

He stared back unblinking. Faith was surprised herself at the assurance she said it.

"Uh?" He gaped.

"Was I wrong?" she pressed.

"No… no, you're right. But I just quit figuring myself for a marrying man." His eyes didn't move from hers.

She picked up his hand and laced her fingers through his.

"Maybe you figured wrong." She murmured as she rubbed her thumb over his knuckles.

"Well," he coughed. "We have five days to figure out which, now don't we."

"We?" She smiled winsomely at him. "We'll be together?"

"We'll be together on the ship," he said, almost jumping to his feet. He ran his hand through his hair and Faith wondered if he was trying to think of a way to take back what he'd just said.

She stood more slowly, hoping he wouldn't. They stood on the same step. The space was too small for the two of them and their bodies were millimetres apart on the stairs.

"Ok." She nodded slowly and smiled.

"Well, shiny," he said, happy to see her happy. Faith was almost touched that he cared in any way. Even before she'd 'died' it had been a while since any man had shown her much affection. "You hungry? Kitchen's just this way."

She followed him through watching their route as they walked, an old habit.

"You got a name?" he asked as they entered the kitchen.

"Faith," she told him.

He smiled, a twisted ironic smile.

"Faith," he repeated, still smiling. "Shepherd Book's gonna a field day with that one."


	3. Chapter 3

AN: I have a habit of dropping in my favourite movie quotes.

ooo

Faith was cooking, one of the many talents she'd picked up living in a house full of Slayers with enormous appetites. She'd let Mal help at first, getting out the ingredients and such but she'd wanted to be the one to cook their first meal together. It was the proper thing to do, she thought, ignoring the flutter her stomach gave when he smiled at her as she said that.

They talked as she cooked, he leaned over the counter to watch her work, about her life on Triumph and he told her one or two or the funnier, less embarrassing stories he'd accumulated in his time as Captain of Serenity and about the passengers and crew. She asked one or two pointed questions about them, curious about the way things worked this far out from the rim.

They fell silent as Faith concentrated on taking up the food.

Mal took a second to savour the moment. It had been a long time since he'd had any exchange with a woman who wasn't married, or like a sister to him or… Inara.

He frowned, wondering at how she really felt about this new development, knowing you could never really tell with her. He cleared those kind of thoughts from his head as he saw Book coming through to the crews lounge area. He headed him off to see what he'd figured out.

"Divorce is very rare and requires dispensation from her pastor. I can send him a wave, see what I can do," Book offered.

"I'd appreciate it." Then, as he watched Faith place two plates on the table and begin to eat from one. "She's a nice girl."

Book nodded, seemingly ill at ease.

"Seems, very anxious to please you."

"She wanted us to share dinner." Mal answered, still distracted.

"That's nice." Book said brightly, then added in the same tone. "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell." Book turned to look the Captain in the eye. "A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre."

Mal was shocked.

"Wha - I'm not - Preacher, you got a smutty mind!" He held his hands up in surrender.

"Perhaps I spoke out of turn." Book relaxed.

"Per-maybe-haps, I'm thinking." Mal said quickly. "Beside," he put in, "from the way she put down Jayne earlier, it looks like she can handle herself when she needs to."

"Still, I'll make her up a room in the passenger dorm." He told the other man.

"You do that."

The preacher headed to the passenger dorms to fulfil this errand. His voice carried back round the corner.

"A special hell…"

Mal sighed and ran his hand through his hair. As much as he tried though, and even with Preachers words of warning ringing, he couldn't stop thinking about her gentle hand on his or the way her eyes had lit up when he had told her she could stay, if only for a few days.

"A special hell." He reminded himself sternly before moving to join Faith in the galley.

ooo

They were still eating when Zoe walked in, Wash coming in behind her, sniffing the air.

"Something smell good…" Wash declared.

"Having yourself a little supper, Captain?" Zoe asked, smiling.

"Well, Faith hadn't eaten and insisted I join her." Mal said, smiling at said brunette who turned to the newcomers.

"There's some left on the counter," she said. "I figured someone would smell it and want some so I made a bit extra, so long as you don't mind sharing."

Zoe laughed as Wash made a beeline for the plate steaming temptingly on the counter.

There was silence as everybody ate, Wash and Zoe making sounds of appreciation as they did.

"So how do you like our boat?" Zoe asked, when she'd eaten a bit.

"It's lovely. I've never been on one before," she lied. "I didn't expect it to be so homey."

Wash laughed, though Zoe frowned at her choice of words.

"You can thank Kaylee for that. Girl loves to paint."

"Yea," Mal laughed. "I finally had to take her little paintbrushes away from her. Told her she wasn't allowed to do any more flowers, or she'd never get them back." He chuckled. "Tricked me right good she did. Agreed, right quick and then painted those swirly things soon's my back was turned. Claimed then that I'd never said not to paint, just not to paint flowers."

Faith laughed.

"I know a girl like that back home," she told him.

"Back on Triumph?" Zoe asked.

Faith smiled at Zoe, though she was worried, she'd thought she won the woman over with the food.

"Yea." She shook her head. "So, did Kaylee get her brushes back?"

"Not till after I'd gotten a firm promise from 'er that she'd keep her painting to her own quarters."

He pushed his plate away and gave a relaxed sigh.

Faith stood as he did.

"Relax," he told her. "I gotta go. I've Captain-y things to do. Zoe here will show you 'round. Show you to your dorm and to the wash-room and all. You can get your things from the cargo bay."

"Ok." Faith watched him go and felt a small twinge of apprehension as she was left with his stern faced second-in-command and her husband, who continued to stuff himself, not seeming to notice the tense silence that had fallen as Mal left. She went to the kitchen and started cleaning up, the rattling of the empty pots filled the uncomfortable silence.

_At least Wash is here,_ she thought. _He might be able to keep things lighter than his wife would_.

"You look right comfy in a kitchen like this for never having been outta world before." Zoe said, her sharp eyes following Faith as she carefully put the utensils away.

"You been in one kitchen, you been in them all. We're all creature of habit and comfort, we don't change much." _Not even in five hundred years,_ she added silently. Zoe nodded, not happily, but like she knew a good evasion when she'd heard it.

"As for me," Wash stood, plate clean, "I better check we're not about to crash or something."

He pecked his wife on the cheek, waved at Faith and was gone.

Faith watched helpless as he left.

_Are the Gods conspiring against me or something?_ she wondered. She wasn't sure she'd be able to keep up the act in front of Zoe's razersharp eyes.

"We'll get your things from the cargo bay," Zoe said, redirecting her attention. "Then I'll show you where you'll be sleeping."

"Thank you." Faith said in a quiet voice, trying to appear as small a threat as possible. Which usually always worked. Well it worked when the person she was targeting was male. Zoe didn't bat an eyelid and she didn't seem like she'd fall for the little girl lost routine. She's just watched both her husband and her captain fall for it and hadn't liked it. Faith was expecting quite a backlash from that.

ooo

Mal wandered around the ship after leaving the kitchen, he didn't have anywhere to be really, he just needed a moment away from his new wife. He checked in with Book who told him that Elder Gomman would get back to him after a few days. He came to Inara's shuttle and decided on impulse to drop in. He heard her talking, probably setting up a new contact. He knocked, which was another first for him.

"Can I come in?"

She stood stiff backed at the screen, but deactivated it and stood when she heard him knock.

"No." She covered the screen from his obviously prying eyes.

He sighed and walked in anyway.

"See, that's why I usually don't ask." She glared at him and he wondered what exactly he'd done now to anger her, besides the obvious.

"What do you want?" She didn't bark it at him, but it came close.

"I just needed to, um... Hide." He admitted it fairly sheepishly, expecting her to see at least that funny bit.

"So I take it the honeymoon is over?" Her acidic tone didn't falter.

"She's a fine girl, don't misread -hell of a cook too."

"I'm sure she has many exciting talents," She said pointedly.

"Whoa, didn't expect that kind of thinking from you, those in glass-houses after all…"

She ignored him.

"We'll be in Beaumonde for at least two weeks, right?" She crossed over to her coffee table and picked up the used candles left there intending to dump them.

"Can't be exactly sure but-"

"Well, I need you to be exactly sure, Mal." She dumped the used candles into a floral covered bin. "I can't make commitments and then not keep them. That's your specialty!"

"I'm sorry. Are you tetchy 'cause I got myself a bride or 'cause I don't plan to keep her?" He was confused. By her reaction and by what she was saying. It wasn't an unusual feeling for him during or even after one of their conversations.

"I find the whole thing degrading," she said with a shake of her head.

"Funny, that's about what Faith said about your line of work. At least from what I could work out from all the blushing," he threw back at her.

"Maybe you should think twice about letting go of 'Faith'. You two sound like quite a match." She faced him with her arms crossed in front of her and Mal could only wonder how'd they'd ended up here again.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe we're soulmates."

"Yes. Great. I wish you hundreds of fat children." The image caught him and for a moment he forgot what they were arguing about.

"Can you imagine that? Me with a passel of critters underfoot? Ten years time, I could teach 'em to-" But he was cut off again.

"Can you leave me alone for five minutes please?" She did bark at him this time and the force of her reaction left Mal's head spinning as he exited her shuttle.

ooo

The tour was every bit as gruesome as she'd expected. Once they'd grabbed her small hold-all from below Zoe had started interrogating her on every little detail, from how small her bag was, to be containing everything she needed to begin her new life, to her family history. Faith answered as much and as little as possible.

She used her real life story to fabricate a back story that would satisfy the most gossip hungry individual, telling Zoe that she'd left home when she was 13 'cause her dad beat on her, ending up in the village they'd met her when she was 16 and been taken in by a family there where she'd lived since. It was as close to the truth as she could get without telling the whole gory story. It seemed to satisfy something in her guide.

"Is that why you were chosen to be wed off like this?" Zoe asked. "'Cause you had no real family on Triumph?"

"Joyce and Buffy were my family, Dawnie too." She said defensively. "When we weren't fighting," _or trying to kill each other,_ she sighed theatrically, "But, ya I suppose so." She even managed to sound a little lost. "I didn't mind," she said. "I wanted to see the 'verse."

"You didn't mind being married off to a complete stranger?" Zoe countered. "He could have been a sadist for all you knew."

"I can take care of myself." Faith answered, giving Zoe a look that made her wonder. "He had gentle hands," she said then as if that answered everything. Zoe shook her head at this bit of complete madness, but she let it go which was what Faith was hoping for.

They walked on and Zoe pointed out the infirmary, where Faith wondered how dangerous their lives were that they needed their own doctor, the bridge and the shuttles.

"This is the passenger dorm anyway." She pointed at two of the rooms. "They're Simon's and River's. Don't let anything River says scare you, she's a sweet girl." Faith frowned, wondering what could merit that kind of warning. "Book's room is over that side."

She pointed to one further down. "That'll be yours, weren't expecting passengers no its not ready. Shepherd Book is going to make it up nice for you, no, let him," she stopped Faith, "it'll make him feel better."

Zoe dropped Faith back at the crews seating area and left, but not before warning her about wandering off before the Captain came back. Faith stared after the retreating back before she threw her bag onto the ground and herself onto the couch.

But, despite the warning, she couldn't stay still. Within seconds she was wandering again, vaguely thinking about freshening up in the bathroom or something when she heard voices. She slowed, leaning against the wall so her shadow wouldn't give her away.

"Dammit, Mal, I'd treat her ok…" she could hear Jayne saying.

"She's not to be bought. Nor bartered, nor borrowed or lent." Mal barked.

_Great, sounds like the ape-man is trying to make a play for me. Someone should teach him some manners._ she thought, knowing full well who that person should be. She waited, still listening.

"She's a human woman," Mal continued unabated. "Never been out of the world before and need our protection. What she don't need is someone like you trying to touch 'er up and making things a damn sight more uncomfortable for her than they need to be."

"You trying to say she's too good for me?" Jayne said, quickly getting angry.

_Crap! This could get bad easily,_ Faith thought wondering if maybe she should step between them.

"I'm saying keep your hands off my wife and they're 'll be no more trouble."

Faith bit back a gasp. She peeked around the corner, but Mal had his back to her and she was disappointed when she couldn't see his face. She could see Jayne's leer though.

"Your wife?" He asked. "What happened to dropping her on the next planet we come to? Or was that just cold feet? Oh wait? Aren't you supposed to get cold feet before the wedding. If you could remember it that is?"

He didn't even see the blow coming. He was still talking with that stupid grin on his face by the time Mal's fist came around. Jayne hit the ground with a crash, blood pumping from his nose. He looked shocked.

"Best get yourself to the good doctor." Mal said quietly menacing. "And you watch your step 'round Faith or it'll be more than a broken nose next time. And apologise to her. Hey," he said in the manner of one who had just come up with a brilliant idea. "Why don't you give her that gun o' yours to make up for it? That'd be a good idea don't you think?"

Jayne nodded, one hand trying to stem the blood flow.

"Yea, me too."

He stepped over Jayne's fallen form and was lost to sight around the next corner.

Faith stepped back from the corner, and crept away. Head spinning from this new development. She flew back to the crews area, without meeting anyone luckily, and threw herself facedown onto the couch.

It was all going too far. She'd never really meant for him to fall for her. That wasn't part of the plan. She'd just needed to get near River, see if she was a Slayer, maybe offer her some history that would help her in her journey, help her understand. Then maybe she'd be able to take her name back to the Monks back at the Keepers of Time monastery. They'd be able to take it from there.

And she was entirely too happy about this new development. Mal wasn't the only one who wasn't supposed to get attached.

She closed her eyes. As sleep dragged her down, her mind echoed his words, and she felt an odd little surge of joy at the memory.

_"Keep your hands off my wife!"_

ooo

Mal found her there a while later and gentle shook her. Then he shook her a little rougher.

"MmmWhat?" She groaned and she struggled into wakingness.

"'Sall right…" he murmured. "Just thought you'd like to sleep in an actual bed." He took her hand and helped her stand, then steadied her when she stumbled against him. Her breath still in her body at his closeness, but he didn't falter.

He lead her along, still holding her hand as they neared the passenger dorms where for the second time that day, night, whatever, Faith could hear arguing voices round the corner.

"What's going on?" Mal asked as they neared the three standing near the passenger dorms.

"I really couldn't say." Simon shrugged.

"I was gonna show Faith her quarters, did they get squared away?"

"Once upon a time…" Book said confusly.

"I don't need much-" Faith began, still clutching onto Mal's hand.

"You're dead." River turned on Faith. "Dead thing walking around like shadows chasing. Never stopping even when the sun stopped shining. Shadows aren't shadows without the sun. They're imitations. They're not real. You're not real." Faith gaped at her.

"Well, ho, let's play nice here. Your sister's got some funny notions," he said to Simon sternly.

"That's not untrue."

Still Faith could only stare.

So this is what Zoe was warning about, she thought.

"Book, will you show Faith to her dorm, please," he asked the staring Shepherd. "Simon, River."

Mal exited followed closely by Simon and River.

"Are you ok," Book asked. Faith nodded still staring after River, though she'd long gone from sight around the corner. "Please don't take what River says to heart, she's really a very sweet girl."

Faith turned her head to stare at him incredulously.

"You know you're the second person to tell me that today."

ooo

Mal led Simon with River following behind to the infirmary before speaking.

"Want to explain what that was all about?" He said angrily. Faith was barely two minutes on the ship 'n' she'd been slandered, offered for a trade and scared out of her wits and it was more than Mal would willingly let her face.

"Number didn't add up," River said, playing with the ends of her hair.

"Wha-" He steadied himself. Yelling at her just made her clam up further and he wanted answers. "What kind of _go se_ were you saying back there?"

River stared into the distance at something only she could see.

"We're born, we live, we die.."

"That don't explain-"

"…we return to where we came from, a continuous circle. She didn't circle. Circle should be running round. Her circle fell flat, didn't bounce. Lost in it's own orbit it didn't see the stars. Now it see things it shouldn't." She grew hysterical. "She sees, she knows, eyes always watching and she shouldn't. Poke them out! Thinks I don't know but I do. Poke! Girls laughing and crying and dying, dead, dead and there's nothing she can do." She gasped and fell broken on the floor, Simon rushed to cradle her. "I don't want to die! I don't… don't… can't… not hers…"

She didn't feel the prick of the needle though she welcomed the darkness brought by the medication. In those sleeps she did not dream, in those sleeps, no dreams may come.

There was silence then in the infirmary as Mal and Simon looked shocked at the sleeping child on the floor.

"Well, she's clearly out of her mind." Zoe was saying.

"But nice?" Wash asked. Zoe nodded, conceding that point. "Well, she has led a sheltered life. Maybe on her planet it's normal to not know the person you're going to marry until the wedding day… night. Whatever…"

"I know but it's the way she said it. 'He had gentle hands,'" she imitated. "Like that tells you a lot about someone."

"So are we liking her or not?" Wash asked pulling her onto his lap.

"I don't trust her." Zoe said, staring into the distance as if she could see Faith in her dorm from where she sat. "But I can understand her. Didn't have much real family. Makes sense she'd leave when she had the chance."

"You like her!" Wash exclaimed. Zoe didn't reply. He made a noise of satisfaction. "Good. Now we just gotta convince the Cap'."

"Convince the Cap' of what?" Zoe asked, quickly sitting up.

"Letting her stay, of course." Wash said. "It would be good for the Cap' to have someone."

"Someone who isn't Inara, you mean." Zoe said accusingly.

"I love Inara, don't look at me like that! But her and the Cap', well, we all know that's not going to sort itself out anytime soon and it would be nice to have a happy Cap' rather than the down and depressed Cap' we've had lately." Zoe stiffened in his lap, hating any insult to the Captain. "Hey! You know I'm only telling the truth!"

Zoe nodded, standing.

"Don't mean I have to like it. I'm going to bed."

Wash watched her go before turning back to the dials, not happy with the way she'd left. Neither one saw Inara step out of the shadows and creep back to her shuttle, shoulders bowed, stifling a sob as she went.

ooo

Confucius - confusly (made up my own word!)  
AN: I know that this isn't exactly the sequence of events in the episode, particularly the conversations with Book and between Book and Elder Gomman (not spelt out, but it's there), but I'm taking creative license.


	4. Chapter 4

She didn't know how long she'd slept for but she woke to knocking. It wasn't loud but it was repetitive. She bit back a groan when it came again. She considered for a moment ignoring it but shook off the impulse. She was surprised when she opened the door to find Jayne staring at her expectantly. His nose was taped up and his eyes were bloodshot.

"Uh, hi!"

"I brought you this," he said holding out a gun, huge and silver and shiny. He smiled, a fixed plastic smile, and she could see him resolutely starting her between the eyes, being careful not to look lower, she supposed. "Sorta like a wedding gift."

"Oh, thanks." She took the gun, then found herself a little tongue-tied. "Um… it's…"

"…my very favourite gun." He told her. He launched into his speech then, speaking quickly, "six men came to kill me one time, and the best of them carried this. It's a Callahan full-bore autolock, customized trigger and double cartridge thourough-gage" He said it longingly, without menace and glanced down at the gun more than once.

"Thanks." She said again, it was all she could think of. He'd been about to trade _this_ gun for her?

"You're welcome." He said and left, but not without one last longing look at the gun. Again, he hardly looked at her and Faith could only assume Mal's words had really struck home.

She closed the door before looking at the gun in her arms more closely. It was impressive alright, not really her thing, but cool none the less. She shook her head and laughed.

_Some wedding present!_ She thought.

The sound of her tummy rumbling brought her out of her careful examination of the gun. She put it on the bed and rifled through her hold-all for something to wear. She pulled on a white shirt and a pair of tan pants that didn't look too dirty before pulling on her boots and running a brush through her hair.

By the time she got to the galley everyone was up and about. Everyone turned to look when she entered the room, but managed not to be completely rude by going silent, before calling her in and offering her a seat at the top beside the head seat. That one was empty and Faith could only think that it was left for Mal, who hadn't shown up yet. She took the offered seat, next to Book, glancing round at everyone and smiling. Kaylee, who was sitting opposite her, grinned back.

"Sleep well?" she inquired.

"Like a log," Faith said.

"I'm Kaylee," the other girl said, offering a hand which Faith shook, careful not to put too much pressure into the handshake. "That's Shepherd Book, beside you. And Simon and River," she pointed. "And Wash and Zoe. And that's Jayne at the end of the table."

She shook the hands offered, even though she'd pretty much met everyone the night before, she didn't want to say that to the girl opposite who seemed happy to be able to do this. She simply nodded back to Jayne who, she noticed, could hardly look at her. She frowned at that.

It was alright people being scared of her at times, but she needed these people on her side and having the burliest guy on the boat, ship, afraid of her might cause some problems. She turned aside, not wanting Zoe to see the odd behaviour of her shipmate and attribute it to her.

"I'm Faith," she offered.

"Just Faith?" Simon inquired.

"I don't use my father's name." Faith answered, looking down at her plate.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"It's ok." Faith smiled at him. "Do ye always eat together or is this a special occasion?" She forced a laugh.

"Well, we normally eat dinner together," Book told her. "But you missed dinner last night, so we wanted to have a meal together, to welcome you on board.

"I appreciate that." She glanced at the empty chair beside her. "Will the captain be joining us?"

Kaylee smiled, but it was Zoe who answered.

"Not this morning. He took over for Wash so he could have breakfast first."

Faith nodded. She smiled at Wash.

"That was nice of him."

Wash nodded back.

"Yea it was." His eyes glazed over as some random thought struck him. "I wonder what he's up to."

Everybody laughed at that.

Everything settled down after that and Faith found herself talking to Kaylee about the ship, though she didn't really understand the more complex bits about the engine that she mentioned. Simon listened to the conversation and joined in with Kaylee in her praise of the ship which drew a happy smile from the girl. Faiths gaze was drawn to River, sitting quietly beside Simon just pushing her food 'round the plate.

Since Kaylee and Simon were busy talking - Kaylee was telling him more about the inner workings of the ship - Faith turned to Book and asked about her and about how she seemed so normal today compared to last night.

"She has her good days," he explained. "She's… special." He said quietly, carefully glancing 'round as if to see if anyone was listening.

Faith wondered if that was his word for Slayer and if all Slayers were this crazy this side of the 'verse, then found herself wondering if he was her Watcher. She shook her head. She had been at the Watchers Council, or what passed for it, and for all intents and purposes they thought the Slayer line dead. She wondered if he was going to say more about it but he dropped the subject and she let him.

"How are you settling in?" He asked in a more normal tone of voice.

"Five by five… I'm good," she said hurriedly. She could see his eyebrows pucker together for a moment at her slip, but he recovered quickly. "I don't have much to settle in, anyway."

"Well, if you need anything, I'm just around the corner and Kaylee seems to have taken a shine to you herself so I'm sure she'll be glad to help if you need anything."

"Ok, thanks." He left the table then, making his excuses and Faith was left wondering what she could do to help a Slayer who was more crazy than she was.

They were just finishing breakfast when Faith felt a steady gaze on her. She looked up. River giggled, then smiling at Faith. Faith returned the smile carefully, unaware of what might trigger another tirade. River pointed at her, stabbing the air with her finger.

Simon tried ineffectually to quiet her as she began to mutter.

"Poke! Poke! Shush… don't sleep anymore. You've slept long enough, haven't you?"

"River, please…" Simon begged her.

"No!" she screamed. "She'd take me! Take me out and I never come back! You don't know what she's like."

Faith stood quickly, the chair clattering to the floor. The rest of the crew looked uneasy, Jayne muttered swear words under his breath.

"Lamb in wolfs clothing. Has no one so she steals," River stood now; Simon had his arms wrapped around her now trying to contain her wild gesticulations. "Don't be afraid, I won't hurt you," she whispered, "I'll kill you!" Her voice turned taunting. "Murderer!"

Kaylee broke and ran, heading to the bridge calling for the Captain. Faith gasped under the weight of the accusation, under the weight of the memory it called up. It had been so long since she had thought of him, gasping and choking, drowning in his own blood. The memory dragged her down till she was no longer on the ship anymore, but in a dirty alley, blood on her hands, sister Slayer staring at her in fear.

River whimpered and pulled at her own head.

"Stop it, stop it. Sleep again and take these bad thoughts with you. How can you help me when you can't even help yourself?"

Faith stared at her with dead eyes, and then Mal was there, yelling at Simon to take River out of here and Jayne to help him. Inara had been drawn by the yelling and stood looking on in shock. Zoe was grim faced, one hand on the butt of her gun, following Jayne without being asked.

Mal pulled her close to him, his body heat thawing her and she suddenly realised she was crying. Great, heaving sobs as he lifted her up, carried her away from the noise and mayhem, trusting his crew to get it settled. He headed straight to his bunk, struggling to get them both down the hatch without letting go of Faith before settling them down on his bed.

Curling into the corner, he rocked her back and forth like a babe till the sobbing ceased and her breathing evened. Her head lay against his shoulder and he could feel the soft puffs of her breath on his neck where it softly tickled the tiny hairs that grew there. He pushed back some stray hairs from her face to see her better and sighed when he realised she was asleep.

He shuffled out of the corner carefully, and lay her down on his bed, gently as he could. But she wasn't as asleep as he thought. As he started to remove her arms from around his neck she opened her eyes and stared blearily at him.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"What you sorry for? It was River spouting all that gibberish that caused all this ruckus," he reminded her gently.

"It's my fault, I hadn't come-"

"That weren't your fault neither. You're none to blame cos a man can't make his debts!" Mal cursed to think of him now, he hadn't seen any harm in helping the village out, but he supposed if this bright-eyed beauty was the most harm he was going to get out of any job he'd- he pushed those thoughts from his head, one wife was enough for any man, and Faith seemed like she'd be more than enough for any man to cope with.

She wanted to tell him the truth, ask his forgiveness, he'd been so kind to her. She even got as far as opening his mouth before he shushed her.

"Stay here a while," he encouraged. "River won't come here, won't come pointing any fingers."

Faith protested.

"Maybe if I talk to her?"

"No!" Mal exclaimed. "Last thing I need right now is a direct confrontation 'tween you and the _bucket of insanity_. Just wait here."

She waited. It seemed a long time before he came back, though it was probably only a few minutes, and when he came back he was even more mad than when he left if that was possible.

"What's wrong?" Though she though she knew the answer. But he shook his head without answering her.

"Ready to go back up? You can't hide down here all day."

She allowed him to pull her from the bed and went ahead of him up the ladder. He turned then for the bridge to check something with Wash and once again she was drawn to the huge windows and she stood staring out at the stars.

She hadn't been able to see the stars in Boston; the city was too well lit, too polluted as well probably. When she'd gotten to Sunnydale she hadn't taken notice, the only times she'd seen stars then was when she'd gotten a knock on the head from some over industrious vamp.

She wasn't listening to Mal and Wash talking and when he shook her out of her reverie she was startled. She was annoyed at herself then as she followed him again.

_What kind of Slayer lets an ordinary man sneak up on her?_

Though of course he'd been standing there beside her the whole time, but she wasn't going to let herself off the hook that easily.

He led her back through the kitchen, which had been cleaned in her absence, and sat her down in the little lounge near the infirmary. Through the window she could see River laying peaceably on the bed inside, Simon near her prepping a needle. She looked away and caught Mal's eye.

"What wrong with her?" she asked him quietly.

"She got in some trouble," he said with his usual understatedness, "her brother rescued her. He's been trying to deal with the results of that little bit of trouble ever since."

She nodded, not really understanding. But she knew it would take them all awhile to really trust her enough to let her in on their secrets.

"Book is trying to get in touch with your pastor back on Triumph," Faiths heart leapt in her chest, "but while he's trying to get all that settled we have to keep going. At the moment we're heading to Persephone, as you know, and we have to pick up work there." He spoke slowly, carefully choosing his words. "That work might not be exactly… well-" he winced.

"Legal?" she put in. He coughed.

"That's a blunt way of putting it," he said reproachfully. "We take what jobs we can in a time like this."

"I have no problem with keeping quiet about any activities you engage in," Faith said smiling. He nodded, then glanced back at the infirmary again and at River and Simon inside.

"At the same time, you may have to keep quiet about the pair inside there as well," he said quietly. "Espicially to any law enforcement agencies, or nosy folk, who come looking. Anybody asks, you never heard of Simon and River Tam, dong ma?"

Now Faith was surprised. She stared in at River, still lying on the bed, Simon holding her hand as he talked quietly to her, soothing her to sleep. She nodded in responce to the Captains repeated question. But still she wondered.

_What happened to you, River Tam? Who hurt you? And how on earth (that-was) am I supposed to make it right?_


	5. Chapter 5

Mal and Faith get happy!!

ooo

A new day dawned, though you couldn't really tell the difference on the ship. Faith woke slowly, taking in the sounds of the ships occupants beginning their day. The noise seemed to centre on the dining room and Faith wasn't in a hurry to join them and face a repeat of yesterdays fiasco.

She had avoided dinner yesterday as well and was thankful to Shepherd Book when he brought her meal to her with a small smile. She waited till the sounds had softened before pulling herself out of bed and dressing in the same clothes as she had worn the day before. As she'd hoped the kitchen was empty by the time she had gotten there. Unfortunately that meant by the time she got there all the food had been cleared up.

She had cooked the other day though so she knew where all the food was kept. She was just about to pull out a packet of dehydrated protein snaps when she heard heavy bootsteps coming close and enter the dining room area.

She looked up to see Mal enter the room. She graced him with a smile which he returned.

"Thought I was gonna have to drag you outta yer bunk, this morning," he said. She smiled at that, but didn't answer the implied question.

"Hungry?" she asked as she took down the food. He nodded and she doubled the portions she was preparing. They didn't speak as they ate but after they cleaned up he told her to follow him.

She followed him down to the cargo bay where he pulled out his gun. She stared at him, wide-eyed.

"You need to know how to shoot a gun," he told her. "That way you'll be able to protect yourself where ever you end up."

"I don't like guns," she said harshly, she'd known Willow's girlfriend had been killed that way and indeed Buffy had almost died like that but her dislike of guns went back further than that.

"Nobody likes guns, leastways, nobody 'cept Jayne likes guns." He handed it to her. "It's a tool, like a hammer or a scythe or a pen."

"A pen can't kill someone." She took the gun though, holding it gingerly between her thumb and forefinger. He sighed at her, grabbed her hand and the gun and forced her to hold it right.

"It's not loaded, don't look at it like a scared animal!" His eyes grew distant. "More people got killed by guns than knew how to hold them. I had my way none of the people on my ship would be unable to shoot. Besides," he said his voice softening, "I thought you wanted to spend more time with me?"

She couldn't think of an answer to that one.

He showed her how to aim, to cock the gun, load it swiftly, and to clean it.

"Can't go practicing in here, we'd have folk yelling and hollering at the first shot, but at least now you have the basics." He took the gun back off her, reloading it like he'd shown her. Faith wiped her sweaty hands on her pants and asked a question she'd been meaning to ask for a while.

"Do you still mean to leave me on Beaumonde?"

He slowed, not looking at her. He shuffled his feet, replacing his gun in the holster before answering.

"Don't rightly know." He half-laughed. "Never saw myself as a marrying man, but I always keep my vows and I don't like breaking them. And when I was a praying man, I never would have even thought of divorce."

"You're not a praying man anymore?" She pried. He shook his head.

"Lost my faith," he laughed harshly. "Could be the good Lord is laughing at me now."

"They do say He laughs at any plans we make," Faith said, though that could have been a song she heard.

"Do they?" He grinned wryly. "I'll have to remember that one."

Two days passed swiftly and Faith still slept in the dorm laid out for her, though her and Mal spent at least an hour together alone each day. He showed her how to use his various guns and she even asked him to show her how to use the monstrosity Jayne had given her, then when they'd run out off guns she asked questions. And, even though he didn't understand why, he found himself telling her things about him he hadn't talked about in a long time. About Shadow and his mother. About finding Serenity and even going so far as to mention how it got its name.

She avoided Inara during that time; the woman had grown increasingly chilly towards her as the days passed. But she got on with Kaylee like a house on fire, she reminded Faith of a more innocent Willow, especially with the way she kept sending doe eyes Simon's way but never saying much about it. They had a few talks of that nature and Faith was surprised by the stories she had. She might seem innocent but she'd gotten up to things Willow wouldn't have dreamed of.

It was on the morning of the third day that she finally ran into River again. She hadn't seen sight nor sound of the girl since her outburst that morning but with Simon coaching her with soft words he managed to guide her into the kitchen and push her gently onto one of the seats then.

Faith followed slowed, unsure of her welcome. But when River turned her bright eyes on her, she was rewarded with an absent smile. Still Faith took the furthest seat from her and, while Book put the food on the table, waited for the others to show for breakfast. But that wasn't good enough for River. She stood, ignoring Simon's pleading, and walked over to the empty seat beside Faith.

"This seat taken?" she asked, imitating the Boston drawl Faith had lost somewhere along the way. She shook her head dumbly and River sat. Simon looked like he wasn't sure what to do, River tried to reassure him.

"'Sall right, Simon, we women-folk should stick together right?" she asked Faith, still in that ancient accent. Faith could understand when he wasn't reassured. River ignored them all though after that, taking the food Book offered her and eating. Faith decided to take her lead. Simon, though, still watched them both.

The others came in then, Jayne and Zoe watching it with similar suspicious eyes, while Wash seemed not to see it and Kaylee was extra cheerful as a result of it. When Mal came in having been relieved by Wash he examined the new situation with careful eyes though he had no comment to make.

The day they were due to arrive on Beaumonde was fast approaching though and Faith still wasn't sure if Mal was going to let her stay. The night before they were due to arrive she decided to do something about it.

He avoided her during the day and Faith wondered was he as unsure of himself as Faith was of him. She saw him at dinner but he left too quickly for her to follow soon after, Zoe still watched her too closely - though they had talked over the few days, Faith knew that until she'd had the go ahead from Mal, Zoe would still be a little standoffish.

While he took over for Wash at the helm the night before, she watched him. Everyone was long gone to bed and Mal would be too, he never stayed up too long after them, just made sure the settings would see them through the night and went to bed.

As she stood there, lost in the shadows, she wondered should she approach him where he was or catch him out elsewhere. She knew there was no point putting it off, but she was wary. Push too fast, too soon and she was in danger off scaring him off and losing him altogether.

Before she could make up her mind, he stood. She shrank back into the shadows as he passed her, nervous of letting him know she'd been watching him. He didn't go straight to his bunk though; she could hear him rattling things in the kitchen and made up her mind.

She pushed open the hatch to his bunk and slid down. It was only the second time she'd been there, and it was dark this time. It was with difficulty that she closed the hatch door and made her way to the bed.

She was wearing a light dress, rather like the one she'd worn the first day and she kept it on as she slipped under the blankets. She didn't have long to wait. Within minutes she heard his boots on the floor above and the hatch door opening. He turned on the light automatically and began undressing. He'd pulled down the suspenders he seemed a little too fond of and had removed his shirt before he finally turned and saw her in his bed. He jumped in the air but managed to restrain the yelp that tried to escape.

"What are you doing here?"

She touched the bedcovers carefully.

"We arrive in Beaumonde tomorrow," she said. "And I thought, if you were going to leave me there to make my way, as you seem to be intending to do…"

"Nothing's decided yet," he said his voice uncertain.

"…if you were going to leave me there, I couldn't go without first having one night with you."

"What? Faith-"

"No, my turn to speak," she cut in. She pushed back the covers and stood, Mal sighed to see she was dressed, whether from relief or something else she wasn't sure, as she covered the few feet to stand in front of him. She ran her fingers down the expanse of his chest, delighting in the shiver she received in return. "I want my wedding night, Mal. You've been good and kind and you've taught me more strength in the last few days than I could learn in a life time and if you make me leave I will at least carry with me the memory of tonight."

"Faith-"

"No more words. Will you take me as yours, for this night if none else?" she whispered under her breath, unable to watch his face as he made his decision.

Mal hesitated. Tenderly he ran his fingers along her shoulders and down her back, unconsciously pulling her closer.

Taking this encouragement, she leaned up, placing her palms against his chest, and gently brushed her lips against his, softly, then firmer. She kissed him, running her tongue across his lips. He slid down the zip of her dress and she stood out of it before he pulled her to him again, returning the kiss with a fervour. Faith gave a little jump and wrapped her legs around his waist and he caught her and moved them to the bed. Faith moaned as he nipped at her lips then gave a yelp of surprise when she found herself dumped unceremoniously on the bed.

She reached up to pull him down but he pushed her hands away. She hesitated then and cursed herself for this sudden bout of self doubt.

"Mal?"

"Shush…"

He knelt beside her and she found his hand cupping her face.

"This is my wedding night too," he said hoarsely. "Be gentle with me."

She smiled once, shyly, before finding her lips once again captured by his, this time more gently and, somehow, more real.

Book frowned as he switched off the cortex. He just finished speaking to Elder Gomman, on Triumph, and he'd seemed a mite jumpy. His eyes had flickered nervously, sure sign of a liar, though for the life of him he couldn't think what the man could be lying about.

He'd agreed to a divorce but, one condition which Book didn't think would be hard to keep, the marriage couldn't be consummated. Once it was consummated, he could no longer give his consent to a divorce.

Now all he had to do was let Mal know, but that could wait till morning, everyone was long in bed, which is where he should be,


	6. Chapter 6

ooo

She was back at the beginning. Not the very beginning, creation of the world beginning. But the beginning, where her deception became who she was trying to be, beginning.

The cargo bay of the Firefly class ship, Serenity, was empty and it echoed in its emptiness.

She was here 'cause that was the last place anyone would look for her, the first being that little spot beside the pilots control desk where one could view the stars with ease.

She lay leaning with her back against the rounded sides of the boat, feeling deep within her, the vibrations of the boat, of the engine, its heartbeat regular even in sleep. She had her eyes closed, but even so she knew the first moment the extra presence entered her space.

She didn't look, didn't offer the intruder any sign that she had recognised their presence but she didn't need to. The slight quickening of her breath was telltale enough.

"Hey," the soft tones echoed slightly in the silence. Faith didn't reply, because she knew there was no way in hell she could be hearing that voice, or feeling that presence. There was a sigh and then a scuffling sound as the impossible newcomer easily dropped down to sit beside her. She ignored the sensation of warmth coming from the new body but couldn't help but jump when a hand landed softly on her shoulder.

"Faith?" She shook her head. She wasn't going there. She wasn't going to open her eyes and pretend that this was happening, that would be just another shot in the leg and she wasn't sure she could heal this wound. A gentle hand lifted her face, where her cheek was resting against the cool metal of the ships surface. "Don't cry."

Dammit, she thought, I don't cry, I'm not crying. But of course she was.

"You're not here," she sniffed softly. "You died. We heard about it. The circle of Thorn or something."

He wiped away a tear from her cheek and she gasped at the soft touch. Her eyes flickered open. Angel smiled down at her, still as tall as she had remembered, so long ago.

"See that wasn't so difficult, now was it?"

She shook her head, her dark eyes staring hard at him under the unnatural lights. He didn't look any different. He was still as pale as he had always been, but there was a telltale flush along his cheeks that no vampire could ever reproduce.

"How?"

He smiled.

"When the Powers make a promise they intend to keep it." He shrugged. "They just hadn't intended for it to happen the way it did. They needed a champion and I'm it apparently, just not in the same place as I started out in." He paused. "Kind of like yourself."  
She frowned.

"I thought that was an accident."

Angel shook his head solemnly. Faith felt herself getting angry. It wasn't hard. She had suspected that her misplacement had been caused rather than just happened but to hear it was another matter.

"Those fucking bastards!" she exclaimed. "Of all the-"

Angel pressed one finger to her lips to silence the tirade that was to come.

"We don't have time for that now," he said seriously. "I'm only here for a visit, they thought it would be best to send me, something about me being your sponsor or something, that you'd listen to me before you'd listen to Buffy or any of the others."

"What? Like AA? Hi, my name is Faith and I'm a murdering psycho-bitch!"

He grinned.

"Something like that."

Her laughter didn't last long though. She brought her knees up against her chest and wrapped her arms around her legs before resting her chin on her arms. Then she turned a grim face on Angel.

"Alright, make with the cryptic."

"You have important work to do here."

"Knew you were going to say something like that. River?" She hazarded a guess.

He nodded.

"She'd a part of it, but not the whole. She's the key to understanding what's happening but don't lose sight of the bigger picture."

"And that is?"

He just smiled.

"Figures." She sighed.

"One other thing. The people here, you can't ask them for help." She stared wordlessly at him, sullen eyed. "A Slayer is always alone. Remember that. Remember Sunnydale."

She tried not to react. Remember Sunnydale. How could she ever forget. Forget how much she tried to fit in and failed. Forget how much she had hurt everyone who had tried to help her. Forget the face of the man she had killed, a simple mistake that had driven her into the welcoming arms of a greater evil.

Angel watched a flurry of emotions race across Faiths' face before she settled on one, determination. He sighed inwardly, and hoped he had said the right thing. Her eyes focused on his again, and the walls, that had been demolished with the passage of time and the erasure of everything and anything that would remind her of home and the mistakes she had made, came flying back up.

Her eyes, now hard as diamonds, stared at him as he tried to figure out what to say next. He struggled internally, wanting desperately to share with her part of the vision he had seen of her future, knowing it would make the journey easier to travel. But some paths were meant to be trod alone, and he knew he could help her no more in this.

"I've got to go now. Goo-"

ooo

She woke before he could finish that sentence. She didn't wait for him to say goodbye. She didn't want to be the one left behind, not this time. She didn't open her eyes. She tried as hard as she could to to hold onto the memory, the fleeting impression, of Angels warm lips pressed lightly against her forehead. And she tried to remember the strength he had given her before and had again. A soft breath tickling the hairs along her forehead brought her from her reminisces and she suddenly remembered where she was.

Two warms arms encircled her, keeping her from pressing her back against the cool hull of the boat. His soft breaths in and out reminded her of the steady pulse she had felt in her dream, the heartbeat of the ship in slumber, and how safe she had felt, comforted by that beat. She leaned closer, pressing her cheek against the warm chest and the strong arms reacted by holding her tighter.

She slept again.

ooo

In the kitchen the crew were gathering for breakfast. While what Book had told Faith her first morning usually held true, that they gathered for dinner every evening and breakfast was informal, they nevertheless held to a set routine and generally found themselves gathering for breakfast at the same time anyway.

Book secretly loved the way it seemed to happen by accident. He was a student of people and all his observation had shown him how people always came together in their communities, even those such as Jayne, as antisocial as they came, could be relied upon to need the simple comfort being around other people could bring, even if he pretended otherwise.

The chatter was simple this morning as every morning but he could see the tell-tale signs of anticipation, eyes flickering to the doorway waiting for the arrival of the newest member of their little group. Everybody seemed to enjoy her company, except he noticed, Jayne. Even River had grown used to the girl and that had increased the crews ease with her.

"Do you think she's coming to breakfast?" Kaylee, sweet, innocent Kaylee, who had worried herself almost sick on the mornings when Faith hadn't shown up to breakfast.

Book smiled genially at her.

"I'm sure she will, if we give her time."

"What if she doesn't though?" she persisted. "What if she's nervous? Or scared?"

"I'm sure she'll be-"

Kaylee couldn't wait though.

"I'll just check, kay?" She rushed off without waiting for an answer.

She came back a few minutes later, more slowly, with a puzzled expression on her face.

"She weren't there!"

"You sure? Maybe she just didn't want to answer?" Simon offered.

"Well, I checked!" Kaylee said, blushing slightly. "Her bed's not mussed. But all her stuff is still there. Where could she be-" All averted their eyes, most with a little private grin as they contemplated the answer to that one.

"Oh!" She blushed even more as she thought of the obvious answer to that one. Book gently encouraged her to finish her breakfast and she took her seat quickly. Zoe, however, didn't enjoy the news quite so much as the others did.

ooo

Mal woke feeling a sense of contentment he hadn't experienced in a long time. He didn't move in the narrow bed of his. And he didn't open his eyes. He just listened to the gentle breathing of the woman in his arms. She stirred against his chest, muttered something under her breath that he didn't quite catch and then settled again.

He ran his free hand down the soft skin on her back, over her bare buttocks and along her thighs to settle again at her hips, enjoying the feeling of all that bare skin under his hands. Her body, even in sleep, reacted to his touch as she moved against him, moulding her body against his and he was forced to swallow past the lump in his throat as he tried to coerce his body not to react to her movements.

He squeezed his hand on her hip to try and stop her gentle movements, tried to think of himself being anywhere but here, tried to force his body to calm down, not to betray him and show him up like a fifteen year old boy confronted with his first female. He watched her eyes flutter open and he waited, nervously, for her reaction to their situation.

The look he saw in her eyes as her gaze locked onto his stilled all movement. Shock, surprise, as she registered his presence, embarrassment as she realised their positions and his hand on her hip as if pushing her away. She tried to move away from him, muttering apologies, and he realised that she thought she was the cause of their entanglement, when it was really down to his wandering hands.

He wrapped his arms around her again, wanting to correct her assumption, though he didn't know how to. She struggled in his grip, but he held her still, then, not knowing what else to do or say, he leaned down slowly, watching her eyes as she watched him, as he kissed her gently on the lips. As she slowly surrendered herself to the kiss, he relaxed his grip on her and felt no small measure of pleasure when she made no move to disentangle herself.

After a few moments he felt her sigh in pleasure but the moment was lost to a sharp knock on the door above as jarred them both from their little moment. Mal pulled back, gasping from the intense kiss, as he tried to pull his wits about him enough to deal with whatever bun tyen-shung duh ee-dway-ro was waking him at this hour. He glanced at the clock as he rolled out of bed, apologising to Faith as he did so, who simply pulled the blankets up and made herself comfortable, to realise that it was late in the morning and he was meant to be above deck hours ago. He pulled on his pants, to look semi-decent, before pulling over the door and swinging up to the main deck.

Zoe was there looking grim as he'd ever seen her and Mal groaned out loud as he wondered what had gone wrong now.

"Our passenger is missing," she answered shortly.

"What?" he said stupidly.

"She didn't turn up for breakfast and Kaylee went callin' on her, and she weren't there." The hard line of her lips was enough to tell Mal what she thought of that. He found himself going red in the face as he tried to think of a way to tell his first mate where exactly their passenger could be found but apparently she had come here with that answer already after occurring to her. "I thought we'd decided that she was goin' to be left planet-side next chance we got?"

"That was the plan," he agreed.

"And now?" She pressed.

"I'm playin' it by ear," he said shortly. Normally he could count on Zoe to be silent on all but the most serious of issues, but she apparently she wasn't going to let this one go by without a fight.

"Don't that usually end up with you getting' shot?"

Mal glared hard at her but she didn't budge from her straight-backed position.

"Girl don't even know how to use a gun, never mind shoot one, so I don't reckon on that bein' a problem," he asked.

"Even so I think-"

"What you think don't matter in this case. She becomes a problem for my crew or my ship, then we'll talk. Till then stay out of my business, dong ma?"

Neither moved for a heartbeat, then Zoe nodded, a slight flaring of her nostrils the only sign of the tumult that raged beneath her cool exterior.

He didn't know how to take it back, he'd wanted to swallow the words almost as soon as they were spoken but even then it was too late. Zoe turned and walked off, ignoring even Wash as he came round the corner. Wash stared after her for a second as she ignored his 'hello' then rounded on Mal.

"So what did you do this time?"

"Wha- What?" Mal spluttered. "What makes you think I did anything?"

"Well you do have this annoying habit of making pretty girls cry," Wash replied matter-of-factly.

"She's not crying!"

Wash just headed into the cockpit.

"Not that you can see anyhow," he muttered before he was out of hearing.

Mal sighed, debating whether or not to go after Zoe, try to apologise, or go back to his bunk and try to work out what he was going to say to Faith about their new sleeping arrangements. Neither option seemed like a fun idea but at least, he thought shoving open the hatch that dropped down to his bunk, Faith seemed less like to pull a knife and gut him like the man-pig he was.

ooo

They had discussed it till they could say no more on the subject but still neither one of them had made a decision on whether or not she was going to stay. None of the crew seemed to mind her presence. Leastways none 'cept Zoe who had seemingly had a fight with the Captain, and Inara, who hadn't been seen out of her shuttle in nearly two days now.

She stared unseeing at the stars. She was enjoying the silence. She loved being among the crew, it was like finding a long lost family, but every sound seemed to echo in the ship and Faith was finding it a little difficult for her sensitive hearing.

"You'll stay." The small voice shattered Faith's musings.

"Huh?" She half-turned where she sat, her 'usual' spot. River hesitated by the door of the control room and Faith cursed herself that even though she seemed to catch every echo in the ship River could still sneak up on her unnoticed.

"You'll stay," she repeated in that same small, clear voice. "He wants you to stay though he'll never say it and you think you have to so you'll accept his silence." She paused. "You don't have to stay."

"How do you know this stuff." Even with the few and far between Slayer dreams that she had ever had, she had never known the future as clearly as River did every day.

"She has already hurt the ones she loves because of her knowing. She doesn't want more hearts-blood spilt on her account."

"No-ones going to die," Faith said resolutely, standing, trying to figure her way through the maze of conversation River lay before her.

"Don't be silly," River giggled. "You can't die of a broken heart." She moved closer, peering intently at Faith in the gloom. "Why didn't you die?"

Faiths heart caught in her throat. She coughed, trying to speak past the throbbing lump.

"I don't know," she whispered. "I should have been dead, I was ready to die but-"

"They took the choice away," River said firmly. "And you don't have to be their slave."

"I don't exactly have a choice here do I? I mean if they wouldn't even let a girl stay dead, what's she to do you know?" Faith said, more bitterly than she'd intended.

River nodded, already half-dreaming again as she drifted out of the room without another word.

ooo

Mal was in the lounge area cleaning his gun when Faith found him. He barely glanced up at her when she sat down near him and she didn't say anything to really draw his attention so he continued cleaning the oil off the gun barrel till the silence had stretched to thin elastic.

"I talked to Book." She jumped as if stung at the sudden break in the silence.

"And?" she asked after a few moments when it was clear he wasn't going to add anything to that.

He watched her carefully, silently, gun forgotten on the table as he carefully selected his next words.

"There's only one thing I like less than someone who ain't loyal, is someone who's dishonest." Faith gaped at him, heart thudding so loudly in her chest she was sure he could hear it. "You tell me no lies, you stay true to my crew and my ship and I don't have a problem with you." He paused, groping for words. "From what Book tells me, it'll be a hard thing to get a divorce, what with you have no family to speak for you an all, so we'll just have to make do." She nodded, choking back the sigh of relief that was threathening. "I'm not saying you have to stay, if you want to leave at Beaumonde I got no call to stop you, but while you're happy here as my wife-" He seemed to have run out of words, so she simply nodded.

He wiped the gun one last time and wrapped the gun oil in the soft rag he'd used before heading to another one of those Captain jobs he had so many of.

"Am I, though?" she asked before he'd gone too far. He turned, a puzzled look on his face. "Your wife?"

Mal just smiled that crooked smile of his and walked off.

ooo

Just in case you're wondering, yes Mal lied, get over it. As always read and review, let me know if it's good enough for my kind repeat readers!


	7. Chapter 7

The Tarot card meaning are taken from http://paganwiccan. are other meaning as well though.

Death - Death (taken as literal), The Empress - Fertility, King of Swords - man of military authority.

In one spread I know: 6th house - Virgo. Employment. 7th house - Libra Marriages.

ooo

Inara was fuming. She was also sulking but would never have admitted to that, even under torture (Companions were taught the strangest things). For the last two, two and a half days nearly, she had been squirreled away in her shuttle with only the pretty things on the wall to look at. Ok, they were pretty, but she had things on her mind.

Well, thing. Person-thing.

Faith.

She had appeared out of now where and had unsettled the crew more than anything else could have. They had weathered everything else the 'verse had thrown at them, even the addition to their number of Simon and River.

She was odd. Different. She had reasons none of the others had for being on the ship, except maybe Wash. Everyone else was running from something or someone. Even Inara herself who had had a comfortable life in the Training House had come aboard Serenity looking for an escape.

But Faith seemed to have no reason to want to stay on board, other than… Mal.

When she could think of nothing she had tried to divine what she could about the girl but the Death card kept coming up in the 6th house which made no sense whatsoever. And with the Empress in the 7th, well, she wasn't smiling.

She shuffled the cards again, cut the deck three times with her left hand the picked a card from the middle deck.

King of Swords. She cursed.

And in he walked.

ooo

Mal left the lounge with a smile on his face. He felt like humming a tune, everything was going so well. The smile dimmed. Almost everything.

Changing direction he headed for the shuttles. Inara hadn't been seen in the boat proper since River had had her little explosion at Faith. Reaching the shuttle, he knocked. It was tightly closed and had been the last two days. Not even Kaylee had had the courage to knock.

There was a muffled sound from inside which he took to be an invitation. He walked in.

Inara was seated on her sofa staring at a card in her hand, He didn't get a good look at it, since he could only see the back but it seemed more decorative than normal playing cards. She jumped when he walked in and then frowned.

"Don't you ever knock?"

"I did."

She ignored his curious look as she placed her cards in a cushioned box with care, then stood with practiced grace. She ignored him still as she placed the box in pride of place on her nightstand before turning to face him.

"Well?" She asked, uncharacteristically blunt.

"We're setting down on Beaumonde in a few hours, about morning time there, just thought you'd need to know. Case you needed to make some appointments or whatever," he said trying his best to sound Captain-y and not… whatever way he sounded that always started their fights.

"I know. I already spoke to Wash about it."

Mal grit his teeth.

"And our newest passenger?" she asked, saying it as if the question had just occurred to her. "Will she be staying on?"

"Might be. If she wants to."

She just stared back at him and for the life of him he couldn't find anything else to say about it. So he nodded, in his best Captain-y I-know-things manner, and walked out. He was out of range of hearing by the time she reacted.

Which she didn't. She took a careful seat on her bed, which was nearest, and waited a few moments. She had had the best training, as an ambassador of her Guild and of her sex, she was a proud woman, _Companions do not cry_.

Carefully she stood. She filled her wash basin with water and began her cleansing ritual, washing the shame from her body, _Companions do not fall in love_, washing the tears, which had sprung unwillingly, from her eyes, nobody would see she suffered.

She set incense to burn and stripped. She tied a towel around her waist and gathered her robe around herself on the ground in case anybody walked in, _a Companion is always prepared_.

As she ran the washcloth over her skin she murmured under her breath the everyday ritual prayer for this purpose. She had long forgotten the meaning behind the Latin words but not the need to say them every day, i _a companion is always humble but never meek_ /i .

That done she shrugged out of the towel and pulled on the robe. Going to one of her chests she took out her best gown, too good for the simple aristocrat she would be seeing in the morning, not good enough in her eyes for the show she must put on. The silk not a good enough armour for her heart.

ooo

Mal leaned back into the pilot's seat. The rest of the crew were long in bed, Faith in the passengers dorm, for proprieties sake he told her as she gave him an incredulous look, and he was the only one awake to see that the proper precautions were taken in time for their atmo break.

His mind was only half aware of the buttons and switches he was hitting, a comfort bred by familiarity, as he thought. He wasn't thinking on anything in particular, just thinking. Inara, Faith, Zoe, Kaylee, River. All the women in his life. Not a one of them simple or uncomplicated. Wash, Jayne, Simon, Book. As uncomplicated as they came. Each with one simple idea. Flying, Money, Saving his sister, Saving souls.

But then, he sighed, wasn't it always that way.

Men ruled the world. Women ruled the men.

Something beeped as the came nearer Beaumonde. He grabbed the comm and flipped switched 'til he reached the private comm link for Wash's bunk.

Calling softly, as if that wouldn't wake Zoe anyway, he waited 'til Wash came on the line before telling him to get his ass to the bridge, now, smiling at Wash's too-cheerful voice that early in the morning.

ooo

Faith stood on the walkway watching Zoe and Jayne ready the mule, they didn't have any cargo to offload but Wash was using the time to pickup some supplies for the ship. Behind her, getting closer she could hear Kaylee asking Mal for money for a new compression coil but he just brushed her off without any promises. They came out onto the walk way then Mal starting slightly at the sight of Faith on the walkway.

"Hey, looking forward to going off world?" she asked excitedly. Mal watched her, while carefully not watching her as she answered.

"I was thinking of staying on for a while." She looked to Mal for something, anything, but he only nodded, as if the matter had already been solved. For a moment she felt a flicker of annoyance but that was quickly quashed by Kaylee's squeal of excitement.

Faith smiled and allowed herself to be lead along by the other girl down to the main cargo area where the rest of the crew were waiting to hear what was going on. Simon was quick in his welcome of her decision, Wash sounded happy in his grouching about having to get extra rations, Jayne grumbled under his breath 'bout it but they paid him no mind. It was Zoe Faith was most worried about. She was hard to read and after her fight with the Captain the morning before Faith wasn't sure what type of reaction she would get to the news.

She was monosyllabic at best but Wash cut in on any response she might have made by inviting Faith on the supplies run he was making. Faith hesitated before answering and then said yes when she say the barely perceptible nod from the pilots wife. She smiled at Kaylee's insistence that she come too and that they stop by a clothes shop on the way back.

Up on the walkway Mal watched the unfolding scene, watching the quiet woman he had picked up a few days before open up and come alive under Kaylee's attention. He wasn't sure what was going to happen in the distant future but right now all he had to worry about was getting the crew some much needed work and bringing in some pay.

Oh, and not getting shot.

ooo

Ok it's the shortest chp yet, I know, but now they're somewhere and some action can happen. Faith is now firmly ensconced in the bosom of Serenity's crew and we can get some actual give and take between them. Plus more Faith and River interaction!! Coming soon!


	8. Chapter 8

**Waiting**

ooo

Mal turned where he stood in the cargo bay to watch the mule drive back up the ramp, face grim, lips pressed tight together.

"You're late!" He barked, not even waiting 'til the engine on the mule was turned off. Wash was still laughing at some joke Kaylee had made when he turned back to the Captain. He jumped off the mule as he spoke.

"Sorry, sir, you know girls and their trinkets." he gestured to Kaylee and Faith who had a few small bundles between them. Kaylee was smiling opening at Mal but Faith was more wary of the tension he was exuding.

"Well, while you've been holding us up, we're missing out on valuable employment opportunities!" Mal growled out.

"It was only twenty minutes and it's not-"

Mal walked off, yelling behind himself as he went.

"Get her in the air!"

"And is this lowly pilot allowed to know where we heading?" Wash yelled back. "Or am I supposed to read your mind? Jī do, what's got up his pee-goo?"

Faith stared after Mal for a moment, an unreadable expression on her face.

"Don' worry none, Cap can be a bit-, well, boo tai jung tzhang duh, but he'll calm down after a bit." Kaylee smiled and waved a hand as if to say she'd seen it all before. "He gets a bit," she searched for a word, "feng le… when we're on a new job. It'll be a bit all right."

Jayne, who had been tying up the mule in preparation for flight, listened to all that Kaylee was saying with a disbelieving grimace.

"Cap'ain can be a bit feng le most of the time, don' need a reason for it."

Kaylee swatted him at the arm as he passed.

"Don't listen to him." Her smile was earnest, but Faith couldn't help feeling Jayne's opinion might be the more honest. She laughed, Kaylee smile with her and began heading upstairs. "Jayne" and "honest" do not belong in the same sentence, she decided as she followed.

ooo

The moon arranged for the offloading of their newest cargo was only a few short hours from Beaumonde. It was the shortest job Mal had ever had. Well, it would be when the hún dàn of a trader showed up.

"You sure this is the spot?" Mal spoke louder than he had to into his handheld comm. Wash's voice came back distinct and distinctly annoyed.

"Like I told you two minutes ago, and two minutes before that, yes. This is the spot. This is the only spot."

"Ok, ok," Mal groused, not even bothering to say the reply to the comm.

It was a simple cargo job. Easy work, some heavy lifting but nothing involving guns.

At least, so far.

Unfortunately, Mr. Cargo Owner was more than twenty minutes past due and if Mr. Cargo Owner didn't show up then Mal didn't get paid. And if Mal didn't get paid, nobody got paid and that was the kind of thing to make a surly crew a mite tetchier. He sighed and peered once again through his hand held sights.

The spot picked for the trade couldn't have been better, wide open space with no hillocks or thick bush to hide an ambush but Mal would have felt better if his backup had been a bit closer rather than the set distance ordered by the more-than-the-usually paranoid client.

The landscape wasn't the prettiest either, which could be said of any moon this far out on the rim, but it had its upsides. Like the dust cloud heading their way which, hopefully, would be a sign of impending traffic rather than a little idiosyncrasy of this moon's weather system.

"Wash, can you get me a reading off that there dust cloud?"

"Hold on." There was a brief pause, Zoe held up the radio scanner connected to the ship. "Cargo mule, three passengers. That our buyer?"

"I hope so." He peered through the sights again hoping for a glance at the mule and its passengers but the dust proved a bitch to see through and he had to be content with Wash's guidance on the matter.

He spared a glance behind himself, more out of habit than any real need to make sure his second was in place. She was, and looking as worried as he felt about the open space they were in and the mule coming up that they couldn't quite see. Mal was beginning to think he should have brought Jayne as well when, at Zoe's chin jerk, he faced front again to see the dust had settled somewhat and the mule was making a slow, cautious entrance. 

It stopped about twenty feet from them and Mal watched one strongly built passenger hop down off the mule and head their way. Mal watched him come, easily cataloguing the rifle strapped across his back and the gun holster on his hips, easily spotting the gun for hire for what he was.

"Yep," he muttered. "Shoulda brought Jayne."

The other guy came close to them, obviously not sharing his employers paranoid mindframe.

Or, Mal thought, he doesn't expect much trouble. Mal hoped it was the latter. In a good way.

"Malcolm Reynolds?" He asked, no trace of an accent.

Expensive gun for hire, Mal thought, which upped his concern and his regard for his new employers - however short that employment might be.

"That's me. And you would be Smith."

Smith grinned.

"You got the goods?"

"You got the money."

Smith grinned. Mal failed to see what was so funny. He reached for a money pouch on his hip, opposite side to his gun, Mal noted.

Mal signalled to Zoe who brought out the crate, small enough to look innocuous, the precautions and the money offered for its transport were enough to convince Mal he didn't want to know what was inside it.

Smith came forward, holding out the money pouch like a talisman. Mal took the pouch even as Smith gave the crate, still sealed tight, a quick inspection. He gave Mal a calculating glance, then nodded.

"All is in order?" He was well spoken, Mal had gave him that.

Mal nodded, he'd counted the money.

"Be seeing you," Mal said, fully intending to wait until Smith had left before he turned his back.

"Maybe." Smith shrugged. "My employer has need of reliable men at times, to transport certain items." He eyed Mal again.

"We may be of assistance," he said blithely. "If we're in the area."

Smith grinned and hefted the crate to one shoulder, the opposite side to his gun again.

"Talk to our contact on Beaumonde before you leave the area then. Mr Krzysztof may have more work for you before you leave the area." He left, turning his back on them without a thought.

Very confident. Mal shared a Look with Zoe. She just arched an eyebrow.

"Money must be good," she said simply.

"Must be." Laconic was a word used often to describe Mal.

"You never said."

"That I didn't."

Zoe eyed the money pouch Mal held firm. Then smiled.

"It'll keep her in the sky?" she asked as they hopped on their mule. He smiled back now.

"That it will."

ooo

While Mal and Zoe went out on the job Faith hung out on the bridge. She had been listening with more than a little amusement to the radio conversation and more than a lot of amusement to some of Wash's more colourful remarks about the Captain who was being surly as hell and making life all the more difficult for the crew.

Just before he'd gone out he'd snapped at Kaylee when she had been a little delaying in her check-up of the mule before the job. He'd apologised quick as lightening when the kicked-puppy expression on Kaylee's face came into play but she had been a little down even as she waved her beloved Cap goodbye.

She hung back again when everyone went to the bay to welcome back their victorious crew members. Mostly because she felt weird about the whole things. Slayers were the doers. Not the watchers. They had grumpy old men for that job. She wanted to be on the jobs, helping out. Already her façade of damsel in distress was beginning to chafe.

The mule drove in, bringing with it the rust-coloured dust this planet favoured, as she came to stand on the metal walkway that ran around the cargo bay - opposite her she could see Simon and River watching, outsiders in this setting, just like herself. Zoe hopped down quickly, allowing Wash to embrace her all the easier. Book was there too, helping Jayne tie down the mule, in preparation for atmo break. Kaylee was asking questions even as Mal cut across them all, ordering Wash back to the bridge and Jayne to tie up the Mule, which he grumbled that he was already doing, they had to head back to Beaumonde to pick up Inara before she absconded with his shuttle. He mentioned in passing that they might have another job. More than a few of the crew members picked up their ears at that little statement.

"Same client?" Wash asked, surprise evident in his tone.

Mal nodded.

"Mentioned that they might have another transport job for us," he said. "Work hasn't been so steady that we can afford to turn a job down. 'Sides, went well. Even if he is a mite paranoid."

He scattered them then with a few quick words in Chinese, which as usual went over her head.

Wash and Zoe passed her by, Wash talking animatedly about their latest heist and the possible upcoming job. He wondered happily if they were going to be rich which had Zoe laughing easily; the only time Faith saw her do so was in Wash's presence. Mal had disappeared some other way, she realised, even as she looked for him. River, however, was watching her carefully. As Faith watched she put a finger to her lips and mimed shushing her, Simon wasn't paying attention, at least not to her. River dipped one hand into her dress pocket and pulled out, Faith looked closer, a spider? Faith's mouth opened in alarm as River held it behind Simon's head, near the gaping neck of his shirt, she let go.

Simon's shriek of horror could be heard through out the boat as he jumped and fell at the sudden feel of small, hairy feet along his neck and down his back. River jumped back giggling as Simon pulled his shirt out of his pants and wriggled around to pull the offending article from the fold of his clothes.

"River!" his dismay was multiplied by the fact that Kaylee watched in amusement and Jayne guffawed openly.

Mal came tearing into the cargo bay, gun drawn, eyes pealed for the trouble. Faith heard soft footsteps behind her and knew without looking that Zoe was there, backing her Captain up without being asked. When Mal spotted the cause of the alarm he cursed.

"Liou coe shway duh biao-tze huh hoe-tze duh bun ur-tze!" He holstered his gun. "What- no, maybe I just don't want to know."

Simon stood tall, eyes avoiding everybody elses, carefully smoothing out his shirt. River picked up the rubber spider and dangled it for all to see. Faith heard a smothered laugh behind her and struggled not to join in.

"It's not real, see," she jiggled the spider about, eliciting another 'eep' from her brother. "Not real." 

"Wuh tzai chien shr ee-ding ruh dao shuh-muh run luh bah," Mal mumbled, then raising his voice, "back to work. Doc, take your sister… somewhere else, anywhere else. Try not to get into too much trouble when you do."

Faith managed to catch his eye for a moment before he was gone again.

Simon was guiding a giggling River along the walkway, whispering something under his breath as he did so. It wasn't something she was taking seriously, whatever it was. At what seemed like an important part of the lecture she jiggled the spider in front of his face again. He managed not to let out another shriek, but when he passed Faith his face went a brighter shade of red than it had already been. She managed to keep a straight face as he went by but as soon as she felt he was out of hearing she let out a laugh that hurt her sides.

ooo

By the time they left Beaumonde again, this time with both Inara and a new job, River had managed to escape her brothers clutches and she easily found Faith in her newest hiding place. She was leaning against the hull of the ship in the same place she had dreamt she had met Angel.

River didn't say anything, she just lay against the other wall. When Faith opened her eyes to see River staring at her she gave the girl a wan smile.

"You thought it might be him."

Faith paused. She wasn't sure how much River knew and for a moment she wasn't sure she meant Angel or Mal.

"I had hoped," she answered then, deciding the other girl was referencing the Captain. "He's been avoiding me."

River didn't make an reply, only traced her finger along one of the mouldings. She didn't appear to be waiting for Faith to go on, nor did she seem to be thinking of a reply. Faith sighed and closed her eyes again and pressed her cheek against the cool metal. She listened to the soft noises the ship was making, remembering soft breath and a heartbeat under her cheek as she did.


	9. Chapter 9

**Wanting**

An: Its short but while I have loads more to add, re Faith and River, I'm going to leave ye with this so ye can think on it for a moment at least.

AN2Thanks to Snag for betaing this chp, without his help Inara would have had a lot more heartache and the chp would have been a lot shorter, Three cheers for Snag!!!

ooo

Mal stared gloomily into the bottom of the mug. A thin layer of whiskey covered the bottom, swirling darkly as he lifted the mug. It revealed no answers; he drank it down. The last one held no answers for him either, or the one before that. He reached for the bottle; maybe this one would. He was staring into the bottle, wondering how much he would have to drink to go to bed and not think about long hair and pale skin lying beside him. Footsteps jarred him from his thoughts.

He barely moved as he saw Inara walk into the galley and go about the space gathering bits for a late night cup of tea. He didn't bother to wonder why she had chosen this time to come out of her self-imposed solitude, just watched her graceful movements as she turned about the small space. In silence he watched her; she never made any motion to acknowledge him and it was beginning to bother him.

"Hey."

A graceful upturn of her eyes to his was her only reply.

"Did you have a good day-te?" The last was uttered with a harsh cut of his voice. For a moment there, as the lights shone delicately on her fine skin he saw her only as Inara, the woman he could be in love with, before he recalled how exactly she had spent her day. He took a pull straight from the bottle.

Inara watched him silently as the kettle boiled.

"You're drunk," she said finally, having silently counted the seconds it took for him to lower the bottle; too many.

He laughed, a generous laugh though he saw little humour in the joke.

"That I am." He stood, ambled over to the lockers to put the bottle away; there was a little left and he might have greater need of it another time. He stood close to her, bottle discarded, watching her closely.

-  
Invading her space.

He was invading her space!

She almost seemed to hold her breath in the tight enclosed space he had put them in. Fingers, usually nimble, became clumsy under his scrutiny, she almost dropped the cup at one point. She couldn't understand the change in herself; she was usually so composed!

She took a few deep breaths, in through the nose and out through the mouth, like in her meditation techniques. Usually that would settle her, center her mind, but all it seemed to center her mind on was the scent of him, a little musty for being cooped up too long, but still indefinably male.

-

He was drunk enough to know what he wanted and too much to stop himself from reaching for it.

-

Then his hand was on her shoulder, thumb caressing the bare skin left exposed.

She jumped.

The hot water she had been pouring splashed on the delicate skin on the hand holding the cup. A cry of pain left her lips involuntarily.

She grabbed a nearby cloth, almost pushing him out of the way in her hurry to douse it with cold water, pressing it to her reddened skin. She avoided his questioning gaze as he watched her.

"You ok?" Only the second thing he had said to her. She nodded, still not returning his gaze. "Let me see." He took her small hand in his to assess the damage. Reluctantly sh e allowed him to lift the cloth from her wrist.

"Is it sore?" he asked softly, lightly tracing the raised blotch of skin. She nodded slightly, his touch a more powerful painkiller than the best medicine.

"Let me make it all better," he said softly.

Before she could utter a word in protest he'd bent his lips to her wrist and placed the softest of kisses, a mere brush of the lips, to her skin.

Her breath caught in her chest so quickly it nearly hurt, her gaze, when he lifted his eyes to hers, was of a rabbit caught in a spotlight. He was an unpredictable man at the best of times, but this…

He took that final step, using his hold on her wrist to pull her forward to him, wrapping the other around her waist to hold her. He stared into her brown eyes; a moment stretched in eternity.

"Mal-" she gasped, then hesitated. He waited for her to continue, but she couldn't.

Couldn't say the words to ask him to continue.  
Couldn't say the words to ask him to stop.

He bent his head still further 'til their lips almost met.

"We shouldn't, you shouldn't." she was finally able to say.

"Faith," he agreed; still neither of them moved.

"She doesn't deserve this," Inara continued, but her eyes said she didn't care.

"No, she doesn't," he agreed again.

She waited; he didn't step away.

She moved the final stretch.

Their lips met and it was…

It was something…

It was…

It was…

It was wrong.

Mal pulled away with a jerk.

His lips parted in a gasp for air much needed.

He'd kissed her.

It wasn't a gentle kiss; it was hard and fast, lips and teeth and tongue. He wasn't gentle; he had wanted it from almost the very first moment she had walked onto his boat; so near and yet so out of reach.

Her arms had snaked around his neck, holding herself to him; a surrender.

He pulled back.

He drew back slowly, watching her face. Her eyes flickered open slowly, she came back to the world.

Another moment passed as slowly as before.

A lifetime passed before their eyes. Where could this go.

She wouldn't, couldn't, give up her job, her career, as a Companion. And he couldn't suffer her to see other men.

She couldn't live the life of a vagabond, the life he so clearly loved, the life he couldn't give up. Neither could make no compromises for the other. They had nothing to give each other except love. And love was not enough in the vast expanse of space.

The moment snapped.

He stepped back, breaking the embrace. It was something that he had known a long time, it was one of the things that had kept him from making this move 'til now. And while before that knowledge might have broken his heart, now he knew better. His heart would heal and move on. It had already begun to do so, but he had needed closure before he could trust himself in a new relationship. But now.

He stepped back out of their embrace.

He turned and left.

A single tear rolled down her face for the man she had known, the man she had loved for a lifetime in a single instant, the man she had lost.

He wouldn't love her anymore.

She resigned herself to the knowledge that she would never stop loving him.


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Just in case its not clear, Chps 8 through 10 (and into 11 and 12) are run consecutively.  
AN2: As usual, many thanks to Snag who is the ultimate Beta!

--

"So, what's the plan?" River asked quietly. Faith's eyes opened, her body curled up on itself, unconsciously pulling in from the cool metal hull as she thought over River's question.

"I don't know," she answered honestly. "I hadn't thought about much more than getting to you, helping you, but…

"Something wicked this way comes," River finished in that quiet melodious voice she used sometimes. Faith hesitated, still factoring in River's unusual methods into her life. It certainly made it easier that she understood things better than Faith could have explained them even if the reasoning was something Faith didn't necessarily want to dwell on. River reading her mind was more than she ever wanted to think about. In the end she just nodded.

"I don't know what it is, something big, and…" The thought went unsaid and she wondered how much of it River understood anyway.

"You're not alone," River said firmly. Faith didn't answer and River seemed to let it go. The young girl relaxed, unconsciously mimicking Faiths pose and leaning her cheek against the hull.

Faith's mind drifted and before long she was almost asleep. River had already succumbed to the sandman's call but something held her from gentle slumber.

A memory.

_Warm arms holding her as she slept._

She sighed, knowing that she wouldn't sleep where she was. She considered waking the other girl and moving her to her own room but discarded that idea. She got little enough proper sleep as it was without Faith wrenching her from what she did get.

She stood silently and stepped out from the nook that the block of crates provided and quietly climbed the metal stairs that led to the bridge, as she was coming to call it. She paused for a moment outside the door that led to Mal's bunk wondering if she had the courage to go in. In the end she didn't even have the courage to knock and, cursing herself, she wandered up into the bridge. She wasn't sure how long she stood there, staring at the stars - she would never get used to this whole space-thing - when she felt him come up behind her.

"Hey," he must have the lightest feet cos that was the first thing she'd heard of him. She turned to look at him and found herself caught as his gaze found hers. Shit, she'd always been a sucker for blue eyes, and his had an added element that seemed to draw her in - love. More than the love of a guy for his car that was for sure.

"You've been avoiding me." She said, it was more for her sake than his. She wasn't going to stand for any kind of shit and letting this go would be bad. Plus she had to remind herself that she was kind of angry at him which was a hard point to remember when she was face to face with him. She was still staring into his eyes so she couldn't miss the flash of surprise that came and went. She watched him lick his lips nervously as he thought for a moment and had to remind herself that that kind of staring led to bad thoughts and her forgetting she was mad at him and other important details… like her name.

"I had some things to sort out," he said vaguely. It was an evasion and both of them knew it. She wondered if 'things' included the lingering tension between himself and the woman who was currently absenting herself from the main crew area and she found herself unable to form the words. He licked his lips again and this time Faith couldn't stop herself staring.

He didn't seem inclined to say anything more but he took a few small steps nearer to her and she unconsciously moved closer to him as he did. She wondered if she should be angry at him still - it's not every wife who has to deal with her husband's 'almost-honey' - but right at that moment, as he took her into his arms, she didn't care.

She was beyond listening to anything that he might have said, good or bad, his eyes were dark with desire and she couldn't stop herself closing the gap between them and- She hesitated. She was cursing herself inwards but apparently all this acting like a damsel in distress was having more of an effect on her than she liked to think cos she was scared, damn scared.

He had such potential to hurt her, she knew that, and that scared her. He seemed to sense that. He held her carefully, hands gently on her arms, one thumb carefully circling soothingly on her bare skin, his eyes told her it was ok to be scared, and somehow that made it a little better.

Irrationally, some old eighties song that had been popular despite it awfulness came floating into her head at that moment, but hey, it sounded like good advice.

She leaned up, eyes fluttering closed and-

--

Mal stormed out of the mess with no clear idea in his head. Dimly he heard a sob and then footsteps as Inara ran from the mess to her own sanctum, guilt tore at him but he couldn't go back and tell her it was alright and not to cry. Because it wasn't alright and crying was the only thing either of them could do about it. Not that he was going to cry about it but he'd think about it and it was the thought that counted right? He was at his own bunk before he realised what he'd seen. He stepped to the middle of the corridor so he could see the bridge clearly and the person standing there.

Faith standing there, watching the stars. It wasn't the first time he'd found her in the same position. She seemed to find unparallel delight in something the rest of them hardly noticed anymore. Well, except for Wash. Maybe that was why the two got on so well. She'd watch the stars and he'd talk, usually something inane about his dinosaurs, but she seemed to find his chatter soothing. Something about reminding her of a friend. Though the look on her face when she'd said that had made him wonder.

Then he thought of something and his breath caught in his throat as he released how close he'd been to being caught, then he wondered if she'd seen anyway and that was the reason she wasn't turning to face him, she had to have heard him coming. He wasn't sure where she'd been before the bridge but reasoned that if she'd even glanced into the mess as she passed then she could have seen the scene clearly.

He paused, wondering at the best course of action, then stepped lightly into the bridge, coming within a few feet of her. He noticed the moment she realised he was there. She seemed to shake herself out a daze.

She turned slowly to regard him coolly and he found himself swallowing nervously while at the same time trying not to let her see how nervous he was. She didn't immediately speak, and when she did her voice sounded as if it was coming from some far off destination.

"You've been avoiding me." He was a little surprised. That she'd noticed first of all and also, he found he was surprised and happy that she'd noticed. How perverse was he?

And while she wasn't actually asking a question, and he didn't know why, but Mal immediately felt he had to explain himself, he hated the look in her eyes at that one statement. He wasn't exactly sure what to say though, before thinking that a half-truth was better than an outright lie.

"I had some things to sort out a few things," he said evasively. Ok, it wasn't the cleverest thing he could have said but-

Then he realised she wasn't paying attention to his words and-

Her eyes were staring hungrily at him, well his lips anyway. He licked them again nervously and watched as she followed the movement.

He took a few steps closer and she mimicked him without thinking. He took her carefully in his hands, she leaned into him and…

She froze.

He had a flashback to the moment he and Inara had kissed and how wrong it had felt. He wanted this kiss. Needed this kiss. Needed to know that this was the one that would feel right, that he hadn't made a mistake by keeping her on board, that he hadn't made a mistake by taking her to bed.

He waited, needing her to make the decision this time at least. His thumb moved in soothing circles as he waited what felt like an eternity for her decision.

He saw the moment she came to her decision, something in her eyes, and he had moment to think that he was coming to know her moods and the way her eyes were the only indicator to them sometimes when-

---

Even through the haze that clouded his mind he became aware of something on the edge of his awareness calling for his attention. He pulled back from the almost kiss, allowing himself a moment of pleasure taking in the dazed look in Faith's eyes before he suddenly realised what the sound was.

He stepped back.

"_Gwai-gwai long duh dong?_" he cursed as he shot a quick look over his shoulder. "Stay here!" he said sharply to Faith before he took off in the direction of the screaming. He didn't bother glancing back when he heard the other bunk doors open just hoped he'd get to the cargo bay before something - permanent - happened.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: I nearly wrote Middle Earth instead of Earth-that-was at one point. Go me! As always, read and review, cos reviews rock my world.  
AN2: Don't you guys just love Snag? I do!  
AN3: Title refers to Terry Pratchett's The Truth.  
---

"The dreamer awakes." 

River's eyes snapped open.

The enclosed space she had shared with Faith felt empty and she found she was sorry she was alone, the other girl seemed to understand her in ways the others didn't. She stood, feeling muscles and tendons stretch as she did, then stepped out from behind the crates, padding lightly along on the tips of her feet.

Something changed in her and each step bringing her further from the person she was, each step seemed to echo as she became Aware.

Each sound she heard, each movement seemed exaggerated and her vision seemed to almost swim as her senses went on overload, straining to see what could not be there. Like a volume control button being turned inexorably higher, the voices in the back of her head became louder and louder, 'til she couldn't tell her own thoughts from theirs and it scared her.

They weren't her thoughts, she shouldn't hear them, it wasn't normal, it wasn't right.

It wasn't fair!

She had no control, she had strength and skill and powers others didn't have; she knew it in this time. But she had no control and that was what made the Awareness so unbearable.

She stamped her feet wishing the noise would block out the voices, those other senses, but to no avail. It controlled her. Controlled what she saw, what she felt, what she heard. A marionette with too many strings.

She kept stamping, a whirling dance, hands over her ears, hair and clothes swirling round her.

She whimpered once, it sounded louder than it should even to her, and again. And again, and again 'til the voices seemed quieter.

It was only when half the crew were gathered around her that she realised she was doing more than whimpering.

"River," Simon ran towards her, hands outstretched, beseeching. "River, please." He tried to hold her, then tried to grasp her flailing hands, but she was too fast for him. 

She heard other voices behind him, real ones this time. She heard the Cap'n insisting that she be gotten under control and now, gorram it.

Something inside her snapped.

She didn't belong to anybody to control. She pushed Simon away hard, and didn't bother to look where he fell and lashed out at the stunned Captain. 

Zoe had her gun out even before the blow would have hit, but she was saved from her decision when a small hand stopped the blow, pulling it away at the wrist, forestalling any head-related injuries.

Faith.

River stared at Faith wide-eyed for a moment - face grim, River's hand gripped tightly in one of hers, the other pulled back, ready to throw - or block - the first punch - before putting the equation together in her own head and coming up with the only solution that fit.

Enemy.

She pulled her captured hand back fast, using the movement to throw the first punch as she drew the other girl closer. Faith blocked and used her hold on River to pull the girl off balance. But River used to momentum to twirl away and out of Faith's grasp.

What happened next was a shock to the watching crew, Zoe still armed, Kaylee kneeling by the stricken doc, Mal just standing there gob smacked as he watched the two people on the ship, next to Kaylee, he have considered most defenceless, parry, punch, block and thrust, punching and kicking their way round the cargo bay, it was more than a bar-room brawl - no man he'd ever fought against in a bar-room brawl had ever cart wheeled out of the way of an incoming punch or kick.

"Does it seem to you that they're moving a mite faster than normal?" Mal asked Zoe quietly.

"Have to say sir, I've never seen a human blur like that before," she answered in that strait-laced voice of hers.

In the length of time it had taken them to speak those few words - it was over. Faith had managed to get the better of River. Though both were standing, Faith had one hand in River's hair, the other pulled back to land a punch. But the look on River's face told her she wouldn't need to.

Adoration, relief, hero-worship, each were plainly visible on River's face.

Faith slowly released her hold on the other girl, stepping back with a puzzled look. She wasn't the only one. Behind her she could hear angry exclamations and curses, but the only word she heard clearly was from the doe-eyed child in front of her.

"Mother!"

---

Mal stared down the long table, watching the interplay of characters, using it as a tool to try and figure out to play this out.

Zoe stood to his right, not looking at anything, hands on her hips - ready to draw. She was as worried as he.

Wash, still talking, trying to figure out this new conundrum. More excited than frightened.

Jayne, not saying anything at the moment, but that was probably because he was busy drinking and staring at Faith with something in his eyes that Mal definitely didn't like.

River, currently being held close by the bruised, but otherwise, uninjured - lucky-for-him - Simon. And she was still staring at Faith with that same look - part-adoration, part-wonder. It was almost frightening, the amount of trust shining in the girl's eyes.

Faith, on the opposite side of River, was not saying anything, only glancing between him - and her hands. Her hands which were scraped and red. River's blood, he reminded himself grimly, though the fact that River's hands had met the same fate had not escaped his notice.

Kaylee was next to Simon, still trying to get the boy's attention, asking him if he was alright, boy had hit the ground fairly hard, after all.

Book was standing, next to Inara, bring her up to speed. He didn't bother trying to pass off the angry looks she was sending him on their littler interlude earlier. She had warned him about the newest passenger afterall - he grit his teeth, trying not to think about the bruised lips Faith was sporting, something that hadn't come from her little brawl - and she was quite fond of their resident crazy person.

_Ai ya_, but he hated being wrong. Or at least not being right.

"So... Faith came from the future, to go back to the past and give birth to River, then came to now to find her again, and--"

"Wash, _bee-jway_," he said, cutting Wash off in the middle of a particular crazy notion about River's heritage based on the girl's crazy mutterings.

Everybody shut up and stared at him, even River who was slightly creeping him out with the look in her eyes, but at least he had everybody's attention.

Now he just had to figure out what exactly to say. 

He took a breath. Then another one when the first didn't help. When he was taking the third one and realised he was stalling and the crew were beginning to look a bit bored.

"Now, it seems to me that we have one or two, itty-bitty, developments that we may need to converse upon," he said finally. "Not least of which is River's early morning wake-up call." He forestalled Simons protest with a quelling hand. "Seems to me, somebody needs to tell one or two tales. Like where they learned to fight like that, and where they get off punching on my crew!"

The look he levelled on Faith would have had Jayne stumbling over his words.

"Would you believe it comes naturally?" Faith asked. There was a tilt to her head that said she didn't care if he believed her or not and that he had better stop trying to shame it out of her cos that wouldn't work.

"The fighting? Or the punching on the crew," Inara remarked cuttingly. Faith and Mal both ignored her in favour of trying to out stare the other.

Faith was mad. One minute they were kissing and stuff and the next- Sure she understood the pressing need that had driven them all to the cargo bay but it was like he had just forgotten their little make-out session and on top of that she had saved him from getting him face pounded on and he was talking to her like she was a troublesome schoolgirl. She was getting more pissed off the more she thought about it.

He was staring at her real hard, but the other Faith - the one that jumped feet first into demon nests - was coming out to play and she had faced worse things than a guy in a snit. Even if said guy was her supposed-husband.

"How 'bout you make with the story-telling and I don't toss you out the airlock?" There was a collective intake of breath at that threat.

_Wuh de tyen, ah_, he was an idiot sometimes, he thought.

Faith just smiled, a real slow smile and for a second Mal forgot his name.

"How 'bout you try?"

He quickly remembered it again.

"Faith…" Book tried pleading, she didn't look at him.

Mal stared, his mouth a thin line. Faith just watched him a moment, the grin fading from her face 'til there was nothing left, not a hint of emotion, not a flicker, or a twitch.

"You wouldn't believe me."

"Try me?" it was more than a plea for the truth of what had happened. It was a plea for her to trust him enough to tell him. He'd decide the whyfors' of that later.

There was silence, as they still stared at each other, not knowing what the other was thinking. Everyone else just wondered what the hell was going on.

Faith broke first.

"I'm a Vampire Slayer. Born over five hundred years ago on Earth-that-was."

She avoided looking at anybody as she said it and resolutely stared at the table awaiting their reactions.

"Aw, crap," Jayne exclaimed, Faith jerked in her seat, staring at him startled. "Now we got two o' the crazy _Hún dans_."

"Jayne!" Mal barked warningly, but Faith only laughed.

For a moment there, she'd thought…

Kaylee broke the ensuing silence.

"Vampire slayer?" she asked, sounding particularly confused. "_Gwai-gwai…_" she stared around the table helplessly, but nobody else seemed to have any idea either.


End file.
